Women don’t need men to have wonderful lives

This column was originally published in 2015.

Dear Annie: I could have written the letter from “Tired of Sharing,” the woman in her 50s who was dating a man who always had a group of women around him. It brought back vivid memories of a crazy time in my own life. I, too, met a man who seemed witty and funny. I fell hard, ignoring all the signs of a lousy relationship blooming on the horizon.

My guy had a harem of women, too. They were only “friends” whom he talked about all the time. They knew no boundaries and would call him at any hour for anything. If they wanted help, he’d drop whatever he was doing, leaving me to handle stuff at home by myself. How stupid of me not to know that the relationship could only go downhill.

My life was a living hell for a long time, culminating in a nervous breakdown. I finally had enough and moved out, and it was the best thing I ever did.

He ended up marrying one of his “friends.” I dodged a big bullet.

There is life after such a horrendous mistake if you get out in time. I always thought I had to have a man in my life in order to be happy. But after years of dating and being in unhappy relationships, I gave it all up, and I’ve never been happier or more free. It’s exhilarating to know you can do for yourself and be truly content with life. I would never go back to that crazy lifestyle.

Tell that woman to run away as fast as she can. She’ll be glad she did.

Older and Wiser

Dear Older: No one should remain in a relationship where they don’t feel valued, where they think they have to put up with constant mistreatment and disregard because otherwise they would be on their own. There are worse things than being alone, as you have learned.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.