Neglecting spouse is troublesome

The following column was originally published in 2015, before the pandemic.

Dear Annie: I need to address your response to “Wary Wife,” whose husband goes to strip clubs and she doesn't trust that he's not looking to meet strippers.

This woman works two jobs and they have three children. Telling her to be more attentive to her husband is shocking. Why isn't her husband there for her and for their kids? How does he have the money to go out while his wife has to work?

I think there are serious questions that need to be answered here. Please reconsider your response.

A.

Dear A.: We appreciate that the wife is working hard, but she says in her letter, “I will admit that I haven't been the most attentive wife,” so we think she needs to work on that, too. It cannot all be about the husband's peccadillos, even though he certainly is undermining his wife's trust and needs to stop. But you cannot neglect your spouse, regardless of the reason, and expect things to be just fine.

It doesn't matter which one of them is more to blame. The point is to repair the damage and make the marriage stronger, and that will take effort from both of them.