China playing the name game

The Chinese government is in a battle with the majority Muslim population of the country’s Xinjiang region. In an effort to thwart extremism the government has announced a new policy concerning the naming of children. “Extreme” names are out.

What this means is that any name the government deems to be “exaggerating religious fervour,” no matter how popular it is, is now forbidden. This includes such old favourites as Imam, Saddam and Hajj. And parents thinking of little Mecca’s future would be wise to remember that ignoring the official guidelines can have consequences.

Defying the government and saddling a child with the moniker bin Laden would mean the child would be banned from the household registration system which in turn would mean being barred from access to public education and health care.

Using a child and his or her name as a proxy for your own political or social beliefs isn’t confined to China. One of the best know cases of this sort of political branding was Venezuelan terrorist Carlos “The Jackal” Sanchez. His parents, obviously a little to the left of both Marx and Engels, actually christened their bouncing baby boy, Ilych, after Vladimir Ilych Lenin. Changing to Carlos must have been a relief.

It’s not always for political reasons that parents hang an identifying albatross around a child’s neck either. Take the case of James Stephen “Big Jim” Hogg, the governor of Texas from 1890 to 1894. He had several sons but only one daughter, obviously the apple of his eye. Why else would he name her Ima? No, it wasn’t an example of that famous Texas humour. It was actually a tribute to his brother Thomas who had written an epic poem called “The Fate of Marvin” in which the character Ima played a major role. Despite her unusual handle, Ima Hogg went onto become a respected patron of the arts and a philanthropist of note.

Sometimes parents just have a difficult time making a choice. Amanda and Stephen Preston were diehard fans of the Burnley Football Club in Britain. They wanted to give their new son a name that would befit the Burnely fan they were sure he would become. After a reaching an impasse and a bit of haggling back and forth they took the only way out: they named him after the entire team. Jensen Jay Alexander Bikey Carlisle Duff Elliot Fox Iwelumo Marney Mears Patterson Thompson Wallace Preston is now 6 years old and living in Lancashire and probably happy the team had only eleven starters and three on the bench.

Those essential soul mates, rock music and drugs, have also given us numerous examples of why parents should never name a child while they’re under the influence of grass, shrooms, or anything more than 40 percent alcohol by volume.

Frank Zappa’s sons, Dweezil and Ahmet, and his daughters Moon Unit and Diva come to mind, but the world is still blessed with enough Rainbows. Starbursts, Clouds and Windchimes to remind us that the sixties were way weirder than most of us remember.

And lest we forget, like China, the Province of Quebec has rules governing what you can call your new arrival. Although there is apparently no definitive list of names you can’t use the government says it will not register any name that might cause the child embarrassment in later life or one that would encourage bullying.

I suspect attempting to name my son General Wolfe Belford would probably have been rejected. It’s just as well since he probably prefers Jake anyway.

Another busy St. Patrick’s month has come and gone in Richmond. On behalf of the St. Pat’s Society, I want to thank everyone who helped in any way with our various activities: corned-beef supper, parade, and brunch. Many members and non-members contributed a great amount of time and effort. To commemorate the 140th anniversary, a successful membership drive was conducted resulting in an increase to nearly 350 members including individuals, families and life members. Thanks to everyone who supported the society or attended our events. We hope you enjoyed the “green month”!

ERICA LOCKWOOD PRES. S T . PATRICK’S SOCIETY OF RICHMOND & VICINITY The Record welcomes your letters to the editor. Please limit your letters to 300 words. We reserve the right to edit for length, clarity, legality and taste. Please ensure there is a phone number or email where you can be reached, to confirm authorship and current town/city of residence. Names will not be withheld but the address and phone number of the writer are not published, except by request. Preference is given to writers from the Eastern Townships.