The Aquaphobe and the Kayak
Twenty-five years ago, during my first year at Champlain College Lennoxville, I walked past the windows overlooking the sports plex’s indoor swimming pool while a kayaking class was in full swing. Poised on the diving board, one of the students was somehow launched into the water.
My typically dormant claustrophobia kicked in, and then this other thing...i guess it could be summed up as the fear of drowning. Upon researching the topic for this column, www.fearofstuff.com classified fear of drowning in the same family as fear of water, known as aquaphobia.
In terms of causes, the following is listed: “A near drowning can cause a healthy respect for water into something that is extremely debilitating. Observing or even hearing of someone drowning can plant fear seeds that bloom into a full-blown phobia. However, you may not know that watching television shows that feature drowning or underwater attacks can also contribute significantly to these fears. Being in close proximity to a known or unknown body of water can also cause the aquaphobe acute anxiety.”
Common symptoms of aquaphobia(also from fearofstuff.com) : -High anxiety -Dizziness -Nausea -Trembling -The sense that if they enter the water they WILL drown -Increased heart rate -Sweating -Unnatural desire to flee I’m pretty sure my fear of drowning, and strange, general fear of water was spurred by the wave (pun intended, very, very intended) of water-related horror movies and t.v. shows that likely spawned a generation of aquaphobes, or aqua-hesitants, at the very least. I’ll admit to making quick searches through bubble baths just in case, oh, say, Jaws had made its way through the drain pipes.
Don’t get me wrong, I found my way around my rather mild and situational aquaphobia to spend a tremendous amount of time in the municipal pool in Richmond, and in Lake Champlain when visiting our grandparents. I do love the water too, and love to swim, and later as a camper at summer camp learned to canoe and loved the exercise, the calmness, the camaraderie of going out with our whole senior camp group (and later going as a counselor). I learned to respect the water. I learned to apply safety rules, integrating them into our water play, making it more like clockwork than the inconvenience that some folks saw it as.
When I found myself faced with both the deep end of the pool and what looked like the tight spaces afforded by the kayaks being used by the class, I felt the whole gamut of symptoms listed above boil to the surface. I was anxious, dizzy, a little shaky, my heart started pounding, sweat pooled under my arms, certain that if I hit the pool I was done for, and just wanted to get the heck out of there.
Sometimes I feel like I imagined the whole thing. That the memory is a fabrication of the things I know and have heard, but no, I’m pretty sure I witnessed it. I at least remember swearing I would NEVER, EVER take a kayaking class. Were these kayak people CRAZY?! Did they have an adrenaline problem?! Didn’t they see that this was insanely risky business?!
In time, my aquaphobia diminished. When I was eighteen I had the good fortune to spend a summer on Lake Memphremagog and learned to drive a small motor boat. I went fishing on several occasions, and that was fun. In the summer of 2011 I ventured out, swimming further in a lake than I ever had, at the beautiful cottage where I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend retreat at Jouvence, in Orford National Park. At night. In the dark. I was under the stars though. With friends. I tried not to think of the fish. A meteor flew over our heads. As we marveled I thought about how I would not have experienced that amazing moment if I hadn’t been brave enough to face two fears together – because I’m also nyctophobic .... that’s right, afraid of the dark.
This summer marks five years I have lived near the shores of Brome Lake. That first summer, not long after overcoming the dark and the water for a glorious night swim, I also went on my first kayak ride. It was a double kayak, and an open one. Later, I borrowed a neighbour’s single, more closed variety of kayak, and I was sold! I was a quick study, and in no time I enjoyed the peacefulness, the steady exercise, I went out with friends, learning that one of my favourite things is to observe nature as I float.
Here we are in the summer of 2017 and I finally have my own kayak, a bright orange Pelican – the very model I had hoped to own, I found for a ridiculously low price on Kijiji’s buy-sell-trade site. The previous owner took her out three times and decided that kayaking wasn’t for them – lucky for me. Her name is Belisama, for the Celtic goddess of lakes and rivers, fire, crafts and light.
This weekend we went out three times. We saw turtles sunning themselves, herons, Baltimore orioles, yellow warblers, deer along the banks, red-
winged blackbirds gripping tight to the tops of dried out reeds, couples of geese protecting their young, father ducks minding nests while the mothers were out to eat and replenish their energy, and with polarized sunglasses I could float along and watch fish swimming around me.
I have taught my sons to kayak (with all of the safety rules, and they must always be accompanied by an adult), and they both love the nature experience. We can pull our kayaks across the street and into the brook towards Brome Lake.
I think of eighteen-year-old mortified me, in a panic and a sweat, telling myself and anyone who would listen that there was no way in heck I was ever getting into a kayak. I don’t think she would have ever believed that I would one day kayak almost on a daily basis, even out in the open waters around the Magdalen Islands. But, I managed to overcome these fears, and have enriched my life because of it.
If you have a fear that holds you back (and with the summer months upon us aquaphobia is an unfortunate one to be limited by), the fearofstuff.com website recommends the following:
“One of the best ways to overcome your fear of water, swimming and drowning is to have someone you trust work with you on taking small steps toward recovery. They might simply help you endure the task of visiting a beach without going into the water, or dangling your legs in water while sitting on the side of the pool. This individual will not make fun of you, and will not rush you, but they will consistently bring you back to a point of focus when you begin to have a sense of panic that threatens to overwhelm you.”
Hypnotherapy is also recommended as an option, however, avoid medication, as this could inhibit reflexes required to remain safe.
With the water season upon us, always, always, always use safety first. Pay attention to safety rules, and respect one another. Often, we know a fear we have is irrational, yet we still feel paralyzed or held back by it. If there are greater, more powerful reasons that you find yourself afraid of something, find someone to talk about the reasons this fear has such a grip on you – this will be a great start to facing your fear.