Not look­ing for any­one

Sherbrooke Record - - LOCAL SPORTS -

Dear An­nie: I am a woman in my mid-20s, and I have known I’m asex­ual for about five years. This fact doesn’t play a ma­jor role in my day-to-day life, but it makes ex­plain­ing my lack of ro­man­tic re­la­tion­ships to my fam­ily awk­ward. Ev­ery time I go home to visit, I get the usual ques­tions of whether or not I’ve met any­one. My an­swer is al­ways no. Though I don’t feel my fam­ily mem­bers are overly pushy about my re­la­tion­ship sta­tus, I know it wor­ries them, and I can see the con­fu­sion on their faces. It’s clear they think that either there is some­thing emo­tion­ally wrong with me or I’m a closet les­bian. Should I tell them I’m asex­ual? On one hand, it might help ex­plain things to them and end the ques­tions. On the other, it seems like an over­share of some­thing that should be no one else’s busi­ness. I also worry that if I were to dis­close this in­for­ma­tion, I’d get the usual, un­help­ful re­ac­tion of be­ing told, “It’s just a phase.” “You haven’t met the right man yet.” “Have you talked with a doc­tor about your hor­mone lev­els?” I will soon be go­ing home again and could use some out­side per­spec­tive on how much of my per­sonal life to dis­close. — Not In­ter­ested

Dear Not In­ter­ested: Lis­ten to your gut — which, based on your let­ter, seems to be telling you to come out to your fam­ily mem­bers. Yes, it’s pos­si­ble they’ll brush it off as you fear. But that’s their prob­lem. All you can do is hope that in time they’ll see you’re se­ri­ous about this and ac­cept it. Right now, there seems to be a wall up that’s pre­vent­ing you from be­ing close with them, and I get the feel­ing you won’t feel fully your­self around them un­til that wall is down.

Dear An­nie: Your re­cent col­umn on the pre­ferred way to wash dishes (the re­sponse to “Wash­ing Well”) prompts me to of­fer mine.

I use the big­gest pot or bowl need­ing a wash. I put a lit­tle soap and a small amount of wa­ter in the bot­tom. I start with the sil­ver­ware be­cause it goes into your mouth and needs to be clean­est. I wash it in the soapy wa­ter and then rinse it with hot wa­ter that goes into the wash bowl. Next, I wash glasses and rinse into the bowl, which is fill­ing up with wa­ter. Next, I do plates and other con­tain­ers. I do the pots last. This way, I use only one bowl of wa­ter. And if the wa­ter gets too dirty at any point, I dump it and start clean — but it’s rare that I need to do this.

This is a method I have used through 40 years of camp­ing. It uses min­i­mal wa­ter, which is good if you have to boil wa­ter on a camp stove. I en­cour­age every­one to use min­i­mal soap. Soap left on dishes does more harm to your stom­ach than the oc­ca­sional food scrap does. If you do use more soap, be sure to rinse well.

I think this method uses the best parts of the meth­ods of the mother and son who wrote to you. And in drought ar­eas, such as the South­west, it is es­pe­cially friendly to the en­vi­ron­ment and the pock­et­book. — Lynn in Moor­head, Min­nesota

Dear Lynn: I love learn­ing tips from crafty campers. Very re­source­ful. Thanks for shar­ing.

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­ators.com.

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