Your call is important to us . . .
News flash: According to the Auditor General, the Canadian Revenue Agency blocked more than half of the calls it received from Canadian taxpayers in order to obscure the performance results of its customer services division.
“Good morning you have reached the Canadian Revenue Agency. For English press one. Unfortunately due to a greater than normal number of calls all our agents are occupied. Our automated service, however, is at your disposal. For questions concerning your tax bill press one. To find out how much you owe us, press two. To check your eligibility for family deductions, press three. To squeal on your tax-cheating neighbour press four. To enquire about us giving you money back, press 176938275 followed by the pound symbol and your social insurance number. For all other requests or to reach one of our agents, press zero.”
“Good morning, all our lines are occupied at this time. Please hold. Your call is important to us. An agent will be with you as soon as possible.” (Music: Time is On My Side by The Rolling
Stones).
Five minutes later.
“Thank you for calling the Canadian Revenue Agency. Your call is important to us. An agent will be with you shortly. Please stay on line in order to maintain your place in the queue.” (Music: As Time Goes By from Casablanca).
Five minutes after that:
“Thank you for calling the Canadian Revenue Agency. If for some reason you are still there, your call is important to us. An agent will be with you shortly. Please stay on line in order to maintain your place in the queue.” (Music: Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce).
Five minutes later:
“Good morning. Thank you for calling the Canadian Revenue Agency. My name is Astrid. How can I help you?”
“Uh, yes. I, uh, seem to have forgotten why I called you. No! Wait a minute. I received a notice that I owe you $12.94 on this year’s tax bill and I want to know how long I have to pay it before you start charging interest.”
“One second and I’ll check that for you.” (Music: Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper).
Five minutes later:
“Are you still there sir? As to the question about your outstanding bill, we’ve already started adding interest charges to the total. As a matter of fact we started adding interest to the amount the day we sent you the notification.”
“But that doesn’t seem fair. How can you charge me interest on a bill that I didn’t know I had until today when I received your notification in the mail?”
“I’m sorry sir but we’re not responsible for delays in the postal service. Perhaps you should contact Canada Post and complain to them. I could give you their number and e-mail co-ordinates if you’d like.”
“But I don’t have a problem with Canada Post. I have a problem paying interest to Revenue Canada on a bill I didn’t know I owed.”
“I’m sorry sir, but those are the rules. Let me pass you on to my supervisor.” “No! Wait!” (Music: Time Stands Still by All American Rejects).
Five minutes later:
“Good morning you have reached the Canadian Revenue Agency. For English
TO THE EDITOR
Tpress one. Unfortunately due to a greater than normal number of calls all our agents are occupied. Our automated service, however, is at your disposal. For questions concerning your tax bill press one. To find out how much you owe us . . .” (Music: Time to Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli). he organizers of the Lennoxville United Church’s 2017 Christmas Bazaar and Turkey Supper wish to express their sincere gratitude to everyone, especially the members of the greater community of Lennoxville and area, for their extremely generous donations of time, energy and monetary gifts to this, our most important fund raiser of the year. Without their help Lennoxville United Church would not be able, on its own, to hold what has become a joyous and monetarily rewarding introduction to the Christmas Season that everyone looks forward to. We are, of course, extremely grateful to the members of our congregation who most cheerfully support the efforts of their UCW even though this requires long hours of planning and work. We couldn’t be more grateful!
SINCERELY, DEANNA MCNAB, GLADYS FISK AND KRISTAN MCKERCHER
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