Neighbourhood noise Dear Annie

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2018

Dear Annie: My neighbours aren’t exactly the kind of people you could describe as — how do I put this? — quiet. And really, that isn’t a problem. I’ve always loved the fact that my neighbourhood is full of life. I actually like hearing the sounds of kids playing outside, a loud backyard barbecue, even television and music.

A new family moved in next door about a year ago, and let’s just say that the people in the family do not get along very well with everyone else in the neighbourhood, and they are well aware of that. They also are the loudest house in the neighbourhood. I believe the two aren’t a coincidence. They yell at one another, use foul language way too loudly and blast their music at all times. However unpleasant it may be, though, this is something that I have gotten past. I feel that it should be OK to act as you please within the comfort of your own home.

But there is one problem I can’t get over: They are a honking house. And I don’t mean they just give a quick beep to let others know they’re outside. No, no. The mother, the father, the sons — all of them — they lay on the horn for an inordinate amount of time. This happens multiple times a day, at all hours, and it seems so unnecessary. It sends me outside every time to make sure everything is OK.

How do I ask them to stop being so outrageous with their horn honking? I know that other neighbours have complained about other noises and have gotten less-than-pleasant responses and no results, so I am nervous to approach them. How do I quiet the horns? — Horn-induced Heart Attack

Dear Horn-induced Heart Attack: Despite your reservations, try having a chat with them about their volume problems. Focus on the impact it has on you. I, too, doubt they’ll listen — but at least you’ll be able to say you tried. If and when they raise a racket again, call your police precinct on the non-emergency line. Though it’s unfortunate when we can’t settle neighbourly disputes ourselves, it seems that for these particular neighbours, a visit from the police might be the only thing able to cut through the noise.

Dear Annie: Many years ago, when I was younger and had a factory job, my next-door neighbour would mow his lawn while I was sleeping. I always let him know what shift I was on and when I would be sleeping. This didn’t matter to him. One time when I got off work at 4 a.m., I decided it was turning light enough for me to be able to mow my lawn. I never had to put up with it again. Whenever he saw me outside after that, he knew it was time to do his outside work. Maybe others have ways to stop neighbours from making unnecessary noises. — Tired of the Noises

Dear Tired of the Noises: One of the downsides to working unusual shifts is that your quiet hours are most people’s living hours. Though it’s worthwhile to let neighbours know your schedule and ask them to take it into account, I think it’s unrealistic to expect that all of them will. Focus on making your bedroom a sanctuary by investing in blackout curtains and a quality sound machine and normal neighbourhood noise will be less of a nuisance.

Dear Annie: I had a problem that I have not seen in your column. My family and I were out of town and having lunch at a lovely botanical garden in a nearby city. A sweet young waitress brought some of our orders and was assigned to our table, although she did not take our orders, as they have a cafeteria-like setup.

We still put down a cash tip with the check, but another girl swooped in to grab it up mere seconds after we put it on the table. I was startled but figured the staff share tips, so I thought it was all right. Our waitress came by, and for a second, she seemed disappointed, which gave me misgivings, but I thought it would be OK.

After we returned home, I realized that the other girl had stolen the tip for our waitress and our waitress thought we had stiffed her. I didn’t know what to do but eventually called and spoke with the manager to tell him of our experience. Apparently, this had happened before. This girl is stealing others’ tips, and those servers think they are being punished for some imaginary service issue.

I don’t know whether our waitress still works there, and we are not likely to be in that restaurant any time soon, so we cannot make this up to her. I did, however, want to warn both customers and servers that this can happen. If you leave a cash tip, hand it to your server, or use a card and add it to your bill. — Tip Went Astray

Dear Tip Went Astray: What a shame. Coworkers should watch one another’s back, not stab one another in the back. I’ve never heard of this happening, and I hope that it’s a rare occurrence. But your warning is worthwhile all the same.

Dear Annie: I would like to respond to “Herbivore Dilemma,” the woman who wrote to you about her father and stepmother’s wanting to become vegans. Your response was one part of the answer. If the daughter really cares about her father, she should encourage his desire to make dietary changes in adopting a vegan, or plant-based, diet. This way of eating promotes health and a longer life, as well as weight loss. Change is always hard and takes time and effort. My husband and I have been vegans for almost 30 years. When he suggested the change, I hesitated because I didn’t know what we would eat. My mother taught me the cooking basics, but it was up to me to learn to cook with new and different ingredients. Being a vegan requires that one be creative and willing to try new things. A good cookbook will open up all sorts of new dining pleasures for the daughter and her family. — Longtime Vegan in Youngstown, Ohio

Dear Longtime Vegan: I love your suggestion that “Herbivore Dilemma” pick up a vegan cookbook for her dad so they can try new recipes together — a healthful way to embrace the change. Thanks for writing.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to: dearannie@creators.com.