Jerry Seinfeld: Family, Aging, Retirement, and Muffins

Jerry Seinfeld has many famous television comedy skits (9 seasons) which enriched my life and those of others. His television parents appeared sometimes on the program, and in one instance Jerry chastises them about their plan to move to Florida. ”No. No, No. No way.” Jerry argues. ”Stay here.” Those Florida trip types might not know or admit it but death is the direction and the truth. No thanks. Seinfeld and his crew were regularly hilarious, and they demonstrated their mettle year after year. Repeat performances are rather easily available and played over and over in the later hours. Obviously, I am a fan, and yes, I have my share of idiosyncrasies. I readily confess to a time when I sensed a connection of sorts between Seinfeld’s criticism of his parents going to Florida and the mounting numbers of folks moving into new Retirement Homes. I am no expert but we are talking about the same age group. What do they have in common? Acceptance of the fact that they are nearing the end of the line? Hello Mr. Death? Maybe. A painful topic and not much comedy there. Do my growing numbers of retired years count for anything? Not much. What I offer is basically just a few thoughts from the man on the street, (me) who is wondering and worrying about the important ongoing changes surrounding him. That is the world my wife and I lived in and still do. We are now in our eighties and are actually in a Retirement Home. Ouch? Well the staff do their best and in many ways it is not so bad, but there is a lot of adjusting. The rapidity of change can seem particularly troublesome.

So be it. A lot that is new and different. We have five children, and 9 grand children. They have lives to occupy them. We know they worry about us as we do about them. It keeps us all busy and out of trouble. Usually.

On the Seinfeld Show they often address real or potentially divisive issues in our society. Jerry at one point finds himself on the streets of New York in a short argument with a couple of policemen about his manliness -- or lack thereof. He strives to avoid difficulties after losing an item that could be and is described as a woman’s purse. That is how the two policemen handle it. ”Yeah, we got a guy over here who seems to have lost his purse.” Jerry jumps´in while shouting at full throttle: “IT S NOT A PURSE!! NO!! NOT A PURSE! IT S A MAN S BAG!” And so it goes on back and forth. For certain Jerry does not win the debate but it is a short and funny shouting match featuring Seinfeld versus New York’s Finest.

We cannot ignore the many bizarre positions, matters and events that arise and expand in our vast complex society. Seinfeld is ready to address as many of them as he can. The show takes no hostages. For him any group or organization or individual could provide grist for the mill. Should the elderly get special treatment? Not a chance. No favoritism. That is the way Seinfeld and company played it, and the way we embraced and loved it.

Seinfeld and staff did not make their fortunes and fame by teasing and poking fun at people who are old or handicapped, but such things do occur. Think Ageism.

Jerry has an uncle Leo who heists and steals books from libraries, book stores, and wherever he can locate them. That is his career. Jerry cautions and warns Leo of the danger and punishments that might result. Leo however feels he is on top of the situation. Sort of. He is old, looks old, sounds old, seems sincere, and is often likable and quick to apologize. Give him a break? Not an easy case. Probably few are and I can be seen as one supporting the “bleeding heart” side.

Apparently, Leo has a bit of a system in operation. At one point he is caught red-handed by the library staff, and the stolen books go flying out from his oversize coat in all directions. You win some and lose some. Often Seinfeld can be short on the details in his stories/skits yet the comedy is always there. In any event Uncle Leo´s performances win him supporters. Take your pick: Number one: A lying dedicated sometimes successful shop-lifter. Number two: An older citizen striving to survive in a difficult changing world with little in the way of help. Not much to distinguish between number one and two. Well yes I prefer the bleeding heart label. If we are going to maintain a good society that is the best way to proceed. Maybe I over simplify but the elderly are too often the victims at risk. Ageism is not on Leo´s agenda but he will learn.

A few final thoughts. My first encounter with ageism took place decades ago during interviews to select a new staff member for the Social Sciences in our College. At the time I was in administration but I had my diplomas and hands--on teaching experience. The candidates at the time had impressive achievements and a lot to offer. To my surprise the issue of the candidate’s ages came up. No one was pushing for a debate but there it was on the table. I was probably the oldest one in the room. Not an earth- shaking occurrence but it surprised me. They say we never forget the first one. True enough: Home run. Touchdown. Top student. First kiss. Name your poison. I always think of myself as young but I sympathize with all the players. Aging? Ageism? What is it you want to know?

Back to Seinfeld

Some readers may remember how Seinfeld and his group handled the topic of muffins. Everyone loves the top level of the muffins. Well almost everyone. Early in the skit it led to the idea of just making and selling the upper section of the muffins. The best part. What about the bottoms? Forget about them. But difficulties and problems have a way of building up and that is exactly what happens. Fairly soon the staff cannot ignore the increasing numbers of unwanted bottoms of muffins that start piling up around them. Problem identified. How to resolve it? Someone thought that the best and easiest solution would be simply to send the unwanted muffins off to the folks living in Homeless Shelters. Free! That should settle things. Shut them up. Not so. Not at all. What they wanted was the oh so tasty upper parts. Just that. Nothing else. Oh, oh. More trouble on the way. The homeless groups in New York rejected the bottoms and insisted on tops only. Could this lead to riots? Protests? Are human rights involved? Hardly. But things can get out of hand quickly at times and disorder is never very far away? Who knows? Stuff happens. The issue at play is a TV comedy show that relates to muffins—and what will amuse and hold the attention of the viewer. That’s it folks. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s not space science.

That about does it for me. I could sympathize with those who felt mistreated by the muffin episode -- if they really existed. ‘Nuff said.