Opening to the Spirit
Today’s word: Spontaneity
1
) I love this word. I like being spontaneous, changing plans at the last minute, and going in a brand new direction. I even teach a version of it when I work with teens in drama classes. We call it improvisation. You might begin a conversation with a sentence like “How are you doing with your pregnancy?” The respondent, perhaps a teenage boy, must continue the conversation by saying “Yes” and talking about morning sickness. As you can imagine it can get rather silly.
I believe life often challenges us to become spontaneous. Our car gets a flat tire on a backcountry road. A sudden snowstorm comes up on our way to a meeting planned months ago. A phone call at 7 am tells us we have to go to a hospital and begin planning for a funeral. Someone once said that we humans make elaborate plans and God laughs.
Spontaneity sometimes shows our real values. I may have my sermon and worship planning complete, but a local tragedy affects some congregants, and their needs come before my plans. I may have a relaxing day ahead, but if a person in distress calls, they come first.
A few years ago a little girl was hit by a car just outside my church one evening. We lit candles outside and people brought cards. Her mom and aunt came to church the next Sunday, and as I told my children's story I couldn't stop thinking of the little girl. We have a giant banner with the handprints of our congregation on it. I spontaneously cut a piece of felt, put her name on it, and glued it to the banner. The congregation surprised me with their applause. The mother and aunt felt immediately welcomed. Spontaneity is often how God moves in our world.
2
) I used to pride myself on being well organized and a good planner. I would break down all the tasks into manageable units and assign them to the proper person, making sure each strep was done on time. It was cause for celebration when my project arrived on schedule and within budget.
Life is less predictable than the world of information systems. Spontaneity is a valuable quality to have when dealing with the unexpected. At one time I thought it was a talent you either had or you didn’t. But I do believe I have learned to be more spontaneous. Actually what I learned was that letting go of control, and letting life events unfold as they will, encourages even the unskilled to become more spontaneous.
The loss of a loved one is probably our greatest teacher in the art of spontaneous living. No amount of planning can control this life event. Our only choice is to live each day at it presents itself. It is then that we discover that amidst all the chaos and pain there are also shining moments of beauty, compassion, love and generosity.
Allowing time and space for spontaneity creates conditions for meeting the holy. It’s a matter of getting oneself out of the way.
3
) I wonder if our stance on spontaneity depends on whether we are the one who is being spontaneous, or if we are the one who is the recipient of someone else’s spontaneity. Being spontaneous is usually great fun. Only usually is the gift of someone else’s spontaneity received with gladness.
On a road trip with a friend, almost any suggestion is welcome. “Oh, look, a chainsaw museum! Can we stop?” Sure, why not. Or, what about the friend who calls up at the last minute to see if you are free to go out for lunch? This is a welcome treat, and better than the leftovers you were planning to eat at your desk.
Yesterday, I was taking my elderly mother to a medical appointment, only to find out when we got there that the appointment had been cancelled. I was so pleased that both my mother and I took this in stride and did not make the receptionist feel worse than she already did. We decided that we were already out and needed to do something to justify our trip. It was one of the first warm spring days and so we went in search of an outdoor patio. Soon we were enjoying a cold beer while we watching the ships go by and feeling the sun on our faces. It was a glorious hour of companionship and enjoyment, perhaps more so because it was not planned.
Mostly, I am all for spontaneity. We just need to be careful that we are not imposing our whims and changing moods on others. We need to be careful that our spontaneous wishes are in the form of an invitation. We need to invite others along for the fun, but not expect it.
4
) "Sounds like a plan," a friend of mine likes to say. Most days go blessedly more or less according to schedule, except when they don't. It's often a dance between the planned and the spontaneous. As social beings, our time is tangential to others, whose plans or needs can unexpectedly intersect or overlap with ours. Important as it is to have map, we can't always see what's down the road. Sometimes we must be able to shift gears or follow the detour signs.
Even on a quiet day spent alone, I can suddenly go off in a new direction. Things happen, good or otherwise, that call for immediate response. The phone or doorbell rings, I bump into a friend while running errands, and in a moment everything can be utterly changed. A meeting postponed, dinner guests cancel, a sudden shift in the weather - can be either a disappointing interruption or an unexpected gift, time to celebrate by doing something spontaneous.
Being flexible, able to switch gears and go with the flow, is a balance I struggle to maintain. It means not scheduling every moment, leavening a busy agenda with whole blocks of structured time. Time to be open to the spirit and where it may lead me. I love the freedom of the art studio where materials lend themselves to creative accidents and new revelations, where painting or writing plays the field between freedom and control.
Even our writing of this column is a combination of planning and spontaneity. We agree on a writing date, we meet over tea and Skype in our out of town colleague. Then we each take turns randomly choosing a word from our list of over 300. We never know in advance what we'll be called to reflect upon this time. Yet it all fits into the larger plan. Which is a bit like life, much of the time.
One word, four voices - now it's your turn to reflect: How do you welcome or make room for the spontaneous in your life?
Rev. Mead Baldwin pastors the Waterville & North Hatley pastoral charge; Rev. Lynn Dillabough is now Rector of St. Paul's in Brockville ON. She continues to write for this column as a dedicated colleague with the Eastern Townships clergy writing team; Rev. Lee Ann Hogle ministers to the Ayer’s Cliff, Magog & Georgeville United Churches; Rev. Carole Martignacco is Consulting Minister to UU Estrie-unitarian Universalists in North Hatley.