If only my luck holds up . . .
Some times you just get lucky. About a month ago I woke up with as stiffness in my right hip. This new ache matched perfectly the soreness I regularly have in both my shoulders. As the weeks went on the ache bounced around from my hip to my knee to an ankle, sometimes a wrist and it got progressively worse. It’s finally got to the point where I can barely walk and can only sit comfortably in one chair, propped up with extra pillows. Jackpot!
You see, this latest malady has coincided perfectly with the 2018 World Cup. Since I can no longer touch my toes or put on trousers without engaging in a ballerina-like twist or two, I feel no guilt indulging in my love for the beautiful game. So far I’ve managed to watch all or most of the 56 matches that have taken place. The lawn remains mostly uncut, the garden un-weeded, and summer building projects are at a standstill. If my luck holds, along with my inability to bend, I’ll likely get to see all 64 games!
Full disclosure here, my love of the game, once described as chess with a ball, comes from having played it for 35 years. Come to think of it my latest bout of joint inflammation probably comes from the same source. For the uninitiated, which includes the greater part of Canada and the United States it’s criticized as boring and too slow with not enough scoring and too many dive artists who hit the turf after the least bit of conduct. Just the same, most of the other six and a half billion people on the planet respectfully disagree.
Without a doubt part of its popularity comes from being one of the cheapest sports to play. There is no expensive equipment required just a ball and a patch of turf. Actually, having watched the street kids in places like Glasgow, Mexico City and Bruxelles, the turf isn’t really necessary either since a paved alley or side street seems to serve just as well.
As to the complaint that the game is boring or too slow I have to grant that Canadians, nurtured on a diet of hockey from birth, could see soccer as a bit pedestrian in comparison. But as much as it is truly amazing to watch the things a hockey player can do with a piece of wood and a slice of rubber while flying full speed down the ice it cannot be ignored by any appreciator of athletic ability there are fascinating things that can be done with a simple rubber ball and a pair of skilled feet. If you doubt this last statement, consider Argentina’s Lionel Messi. The international super star scored a spectacular goal the other day. To do this he took a pass over his left shoulder allowing the ball to drop onto his knee and then from knee to foot and from foot into the back of the net – all the while running at full speed. Try it.
As to the complaints from our American cousins that the game is to slow I defer to my mother who was fond of saying, “Just consider where it comes from.” In this case the gripe comes from a people whose national sport is baseball for goodness sake. I’ve been to games where I left for a hot dog with the situation at 2 balls and 2 strikes and returned to my seat with the count just 3 and 2. As for football, what other sport can make the final three minutes of play last another 20 minutes?
Even putting physical comparisons aside there is one added pleasure you get watching soccer and that’s the play by play announcing. Unlike North American commentators whose banter is too often cliché laden and full of obscure references only recognized by other former announcers, the World Cup coverage is positively Shakespearean in comparison. Where else would you hear a mis-kick described with the words, “the ball was not realistically in the equation.” At a point in one game a defender grabbed the opposition player by his shorts to impede his progress. The shorts stretched a good foot before the referee blue his whistle while the commentator intoned, “If he wanted shorts that badly he could go and buy a pair.” But perhaps the best analysis came when Portugal’s Christiano Ronaldo, in a spirit of sportsmanship,gave an injured Uruguayan, Edison Cavani, a shoulder to lean on as he helped him from the field. Up to that point Cavani had scored two goals and generally been a major pain in Portugal’s side. The analysts comment: “I dare say he would quite like to see him off the pitch.”
So there you have it. Eight games left and if my luck continues the doctor won’t figure out what’s wrong, at least until after the final.