Opening to the Spirit
Today’s word: Nurture
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) Our word this week, nurture, is not usually in my vocabulary. The only thing that popped into my mind as I sat down to write was the “nature versus nurture” debate.
Which matters most in creating a healthy person, their genetic background, or the household in which they were raised and taught life skills? These arguments were spoofed in the comedy movie, “Trading Places.” A young wealthy stockbroker trades places with a streetwise con man. I won't tell you the rest of the story; it didn't reveal the secret of human development but was fun nonetheless. With all the current interest in tracing our genetic makeup, it seems the debate continues.
When I look around I see special people who have truly become inspirations for the rest of us. They come from all countries and religious backgrounds: Malala a child activist from Pakistan, Canadian Craig Kielburger with his “Me to We” movement, Anne Frank as a young Jewish girl from Europe during WWII, Shannen Koostachin who is an indigenous advocate for education in Canada. Each of these young heroes was nurtured in a home where dreams were not trampled on, people were respected, and love was shared.
This week one of the young people from our community begins an experience of a lifetime. At 17 he is the Youth pilgrim representing our Church Conference on a journey across Canada. 12 teenagers travel together and visit churches and community groups in every province beginning in Newfoundland. They care with them inspiration and hope for the future. I am proud to think these qualities were nurtured by loving parents and a compassionate congregation.
For me there is no debate. When it comes to human development, nurture wins out over genetics every time. Let's do our part to create compassionate environments in all our communities.
) To nurture is to set up the conditions for a certain goal to be achieved but not actually have control of outcome.
I can nurture the physical and spiritual well-being of my child by providing a loving home, healthy food and warm clothing. I can nurture the confidence of a friend by praising their accomplishments and encouraging them to work towards their dreams. I can nurture the seedlings in my garden by weeding and watering. But I can’t take credit for the success of any of these things.
The act of nurturing is to set aside one’ ego and fall in love with the process of being part of the family of living things on this planet. It is all about contributing as best we can to the success of others. And if you have that belief that our creator’s hand is at work in our lives, it’s about waiting for God to give the increase.
) What we nurture in ourselves is what thrives. For those times when my soul hungers and needs to be restored, there is no debate: nature is what nurtures most. I love my fellow beings, human and otherwise. And music helps, as does a brief time spent in exercise or art play. But often to re-energize, it helps to take a "nature snack", to step outside,
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breathe in the open air and look up at the infinite sky. Beauty feeds my soul, satisfies my hunger for a world beyond the daily human cares, and helps me regain a larger sense of being.
There's a kind of malnutrition that sets in when we are too long denied our natural context. That's why inner cities have parks. Even brief mindful walks in the great outdoors, paying attention to the tiniest details can feed and renew the spirit. Don't miss the "alternative news" of the day: how new leaves unfurl, wildflowers blossom in secret, ferns sway in the breeze, insects chant, a stream gurgles and birds converse in symphonic tones. The very earth beneath your feet can become holy again if we remember Thich Nhat Hanh's injunction to "Walk as though your feet are kissing the ground."
When I cannot go outdoors imagination takes me there. I take mini retreats, drop into reflective mode and turn inward, remembering a place of natural beauty. I imagine a beach near the water's edge and feel washed by the sheer memory of waves coming in. I can revisit nights on my back looking up at the immense star-studded sky.
What do you need a steady diet of to nurture your inner wellbeing? Denise Levertov says in one of her poems, "For one shining hour of peace, count a year of strife well lost." Beauty is a kind of soul food we can choose to feed ourselves - and the good news is, nature has already filled our plates. All we need do is enjoy!
) We nurture things that need our care: small seedlings, wounded pets, children, and new ideas. Our relationships with each other
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also need regular nurture. If you are in a romantic relationship, think about the care that went into the first months or years of your time together. Like a new seedling, your relationship was watched for signs of growth and was given what was needed to make this happen.
What we can forget is how our ongoing relationship also needs nurture. Even if they are honest, we can think of compliments like fertilizer. Caring gestures are like the good rain, and affection like the sunshine.
Mature plants, and mature relationships, also need pruning. Having those difficult talks about things that need to change, and then making these changes, can help us flourish.
Friendships also require nurture. So called “high maintenance friends” require a lot of nurture. But even our most easy-going friends need to know that we care.
Maybe you are thinking about a relationship in your life that needs some nurture. Who comes to mind? Maybe it is time for a phone call, or a get together, or a date night out.
One word, four voices - now it's your turn to reflect: What do you need to stay alive and thrive? What and how do you nurture?
Rev. Mead Baldwin pastors the Waterville & North Hatley pastoral charge; Rev. Lynn Dillabough is now Rector of St. Paul's in Brockville ON. She continues to write for this column as a dedicated colleague with the Eastern Townships clergy writing team; Rev. Lee Ann Hogle ministers to the Ayer’s Cliff, Magog & Georgeville United Churches; Rev. Carole Martignacco is Consulting Minister to UU Estrie-unitarian Universalists in North Hatley.