Re­ply-all es­ca­la­tion

Sherbrooke Record - - LOCAL NEWS - Ross Mur­ray


To:; Sub­ject: Re: News from Peggy Thanks, Reg, for the up­date. Also, don’t for­get to send me that link for the beard balm.

¬---Hi, ev­ery­body. Sorry for the re­ply-all. LOL.

---Hi again. Yes, I do ap­pre­ci­ate the irony of apol­o­giz­ing for a re­ply-all with an­other re­ply-all, but I thought it was ap­pro­pri­ate to ac­knowl­edge my er­ror rather than have you think I was obliv­i­ous to the mis­take or sim­ply ig­no­rant of ba­sic email eti­quette. So, again, my apolo­gies for clog­ging up your in-boxes. Please: carry on.

---Sorry, last one, but I can’t let this slide. Just be­cause I re­sponded with “LOL” doesn’t mean I was be­ing in­sin­cere with my ini­tial apol­ogy. If you had happened to pass by my cu­bi­cle when I re­al­ized I had hit “re­ply all” to Reg’s email about Peggy’s gall blad­der surgery in­stead of “re­ply,” you would have dis­tinctly heard a rue­ful chuckle. It was not at all an LOL of mirth but de­cid­edly sar­donic.

---I said “sar­donic,” Phil, not “sar­cas­tic.” Get a dic­tio­nary. Also: beard balm is so a thing. Look that up too while you’re at it. ---P.S. I’d also like point out that I’m not the only one re­ply­ing all here. So I’ll stop re­ply­ing all when you guys stop re­ply­ing all about my re­ply­ing all.

---P.P.S. And, no, I don’t have to have the last word. I’m sim­ply sug­gest­ing that cer­tain peo­ple are be­ing hyp­o­crit­i­cal. Af­ter all, it’s not like I was hawk­ing choco­late bars to send my daugh­ter’s dance class to the re­gion­als.

---I want to apol­o­gize to Hester in ac­count­ing for my last email. My ref­er­ence to sell­ing choco­late bars was merely an ex­am­ple of generic re­ply-all emails that we’ve all been guilty of from time to time in which we fundraise for such and such on be­half of our kids. I had for­got­ten that Hester’s daugh­ter has been rais­ing money for her dance re­gion­als, and I would just like to say that I think she is an ex­am­ple of courage, and I’m sure I speak on be­half of all of us at Borchek Con­sol­i­dated In­dus­tries when I wish the best of luck to the East Pre­ston Dif­fer­ently Chal­lenged Dancers in their com­pe­ti­tion in Stouf­ferville.

---Sorry, Kenny, I re­ally don’t know what kind of choco­late bars they are or whether they are still avail­able. Hester, can you take this one?

---Se­ri­ously, I can’t be­lieve that peo­ple are giv­ing me a hard time about an ac­ci­den­tal re­ply-all when all of a sud­den ev­ery­body’s re­ply­ing-all about Kenny’s risk of de­vel­op­ing type 2 di­a­betes. Let the poor guy have his choco­late bar! ---No, Mar­garet, it is not the same as in­quir­ing about beard balm, be­cause my re­ply-all was an ac­ci­dent, as op­posed to this global fret­ting for Kenny’s phys­i­cal well-be­ing. Hon­estly, doesn’t any­body have work to do around here?

---How is that in the wildest stretch of the imag­i­na­tion an ex­am­ple of “mansplain­ing,” Mar­garet? The only thing any of this has to do with the so­called “pa­tri­archy” is that I can grow a beard and you can’t.

---Of course be­ing able to grow a beard doesn’t make me bet­ter than you, Mar­garet, and, yes I be­lieve the pa­tri­archy is real. I only meant “so-called” in this re­ply-all-re­lated in­stance, not as a mat­ter of prin­ci­ple. Un­less, of course, as a man, I’m no longer en­ti­tled to an opin­ion.

---Se­ri­ously, ladies, y’all need to chill! Ob­vi­ously I was be­ing sar­cas­tic. (Not sar­donic, Phil.) Jeez Louise, it’s a joke! To sug­gest that I am “wildly thrust­ing about the com­pany’s email in some crazed testos­terone-fueled frenzy of ha­rass­ment” is out­landish, verg­ing on li­bel. I have been noth­ing but a gen­tle­man dur­ing all my years of ser­vice to this com­pany and al­ways – AL­WAYS – main­tain eye con­tact when you ladies lean over my desks like that with the blouses, which I get no credit for! I am woke! I fol­low Rox­anne Gay on Twit­ter! I said “I like that skirt, Jean,” that one time and got ac­cused of ob­jec­ti­fy­ing women – don’t think I didn’t hear you talking! – when all it was is I re­ally did like that skirt! But this is too much! I JUST WANT A LUX­U­RI­OUS, WELLGROOMED BEARD THAT WILL MAKE ME STAND OUT A TINY BIT IN THIS DRAB, DI­VI­SIVE SPHERE OF MIS­ERY AND MIS­UN­DER­STAND­ING SO THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I CAN GET ONE SIN­GLE DATE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??? ---From:;


Sub­ject: Re: News from Peggy

Hi Dave. It’s www.cana­di­anred­neck­ .

- Reg

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