The Other F Word
“I don’t believe in feminism.” The teenaged girl smirks defiantly at me. There are a few gasps in the classroom, and I try not to laugh, although at the same time, her comment irks me. I’d heard it many times from girls in the ten years in which I taught a social change course to high school seniors.
My answer is well worn. “So…” A little pause for dramatic effect. “You don’t believe you should earn the same salary as a man or be treated equally before the law.”
“Of course, I do!” She shakes her head and looks around the classroom, inviting other students to share her opinion of what a stupid question I’ve just asked her.
Checkmate. “Then you’re a feminist.” Laptops and tablets spring open. The class is racing to look up the definition of feminism and prove me wrong. Once again, I witness students learning what feminism is. It’s not about women hating men, nor eschewing makeup and fashionable clothes; it’s about treating women as equals with men.
I’m retired now, and in these days of the #Metoo movement, reflecting on equal treatment is important. Reflecting on how we cultivate a culture of equality and consent is crucial. Whether it’s teaching boys that hazing is a euphemism for assault or teaching girls that cyber-bullying is the same as verbal assault, equality and fair treatment of others is essential for making a better world.
Sadly, adults with misconceptions on what constitutes fair treatment are part of the problem. In a televised CNN focus group on the alleged behaviour of now U.S. Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh when he was a teenager, one woman asked, “With testosterone running high, what high school boy hasn’t done this? Tell me. I would like to know.”
I hollered at my television in frustration. Does this woman think that every teenaged boy has tried to rip off a girl’s clothes and put a hand over her mouth when she tried to scream? If this is considered to be “boys-will-be-boys” behaviour, then we have a problem. We are too blasé about physical abuse. Just look south of the border at a U.S. president who was caught on tape boasting about grabbing women’s genitals. He got elected anyway. Years ago, that tape would have cast him out of the running.
Authoritarian leaders ridicule human rights movements. It frightens them, and feminism is no exception. Mocking feminism is a tool to lessen women’s autonomy and control over their bodies and their minds. The #Metoo movement is seen as a threat to powerful men like Harvey Weinstein who ruled their empires and treated women as if there would be no consequences for such acts as assault and rape.
Conditions for women have certainly not come a long way, as the old sixties Virginia Slims commercial used to say. We’ve gone for a big slide backwards. When we see people in power demonstrating that abusing women is no big deal, we need to fight back and say that this is not normal. It never was, and it isn’t now.
Yes, it’s complicated when the #Metoo movement is seen as ruining the careers of admired celebrities: Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Kevin Spacey, Al Franken. They were outstanding actors and comedians. Yet, how can you appreciate their movies and shows when you learn how their celebrity entitled them to hurt others, both physically and emotionally? I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to compartmentalize art and sexual assault.
Each of us has to make our own choices about how we react to the news – heck – how we treat each other. My choice is simple. To the best of my ability, I will not support the work and policies of those who hurt and denigrate other human beings. I will happily support those who try to create a fairer and more compassionate world.
I do believe in feminism, and it thrills me to see my former students moving into careers where they are making a difference. When the news shows me how the world turns its back on abused women, when they are not believed, I take comfort in seeing how young people in North America are taking up the cause for human rights and the rights of women. I hope they stay loud and stay strong.
Ellen Goldfinch is a teacher, writer, mother and advocate living in the Eastern Townships.
LEARN MORE: Status of Women Canada: https://swccfc.gc.ca/index-en.html
Government of Canada: Women’s Rights: https://www.canada.ca/en/canadian-heritage/services/rightswomen.html United Nations: UN Women Watch: http://www.un.org/womenwatch
Amnesty International: Women’s Human Rights: https://www.amnesty.ca/our-work/issues/womens-human-ri