The hair raising adventure of Sheila’s return to school

In September of 2016, following some very challenging circumstances involving my son's school placement (he has Autism and was in a specialized school), I decided that the arrangement really wasn't working for us, or him, or evidently the school. I pulled him out, but first making arrangements to home-school him until I could find a better set-up for him.

That school year we mostly spent getting used to being together so much. It was draining for both of us, financially draining as well. When my unemployment ran out I ran on fumes and determination.

By the summer I knew he was ready to be back in a school situation, and I was ready for something else. I love working, I love making a contribution, being part of a team, and paying my way.

When Massey-vanier High School's English side welcomed my son among their ranks for the 2017-2018 school year, I was gobsmacked. It worked! I pulled him out of a system and situation that didn't work, and helped to craft one that did. He would go three days per week, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. On the weekends at Dad's he would stay two extra days and attend the Association des Sportive des Jeunes Handicapés de l'estrie in Sherbrooke, a sports association for young special needs folks. That would get some of his plentiful energy out in the right way, and give me a chance to breathe a little.

So, what was I going to do? Working full-time would be tricky as I had no idea how he would adjust. Working part-time would be tricky to survive on.

While off with my son, I had taken a course called Entrepreneurship au Féminin (Female Entrepreneurship) through the CAE (Centre d'aide Aux Entrepreneurs) - it helped women become business owners, build contacts and define their business plans and strategies. The course was one morning per week and gave me an opportunity to keep my brain at least slightly sharp while I was off with Angus.

I wasn't completely ready to run a business though.

I knew I wanted to work with people on building their lives, connecting with resources that would help, to bolster sense of belonging and self-esteem, purpose, and to define what they needed and wanted from life.

At the other end of the building that houses both the English and French sides of Massey-vanier High School sits Campus Brome-missisquoi, an education centre offering professional programs. Accounting, Administrative Assistant, Assistance in Private Health Care Facilities, Computer Graphics, Food and Beverage Services, Industrial Construction and Maintenance Mechanics, Machining Techniques, Market-fresh Cooking, Professional Cooking and Retail Butchery were offered there.

The other course offered at CBM was hairdressing...

...And hairdressing was something I have always loved. I also knew one of the teachers, Christina Bushey, who had grown up down the street from me in Richmond. I remembered her beginning the course back in the late-1980s, and then when her mother told us she had begun teaching. We both moved to Knowlton - and I ran into her at the grocery store! 'Apply!' she said. I couldn't imagine doing so.

But then my son was going back to school. Maybe I should too.

So I did. I contacted the Campus Brome Missisquoi, and it turned out that there was a new part-time option for hairdressing. Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays - the very same days I had asked for my son to attend MVHS! I met with an advisor, applied for loans and bursaries all on a Friday. The following Wednesday was the first day of school! My son and I started school together.

I learned to study again. Theory was challenging - chemistry, geometry, 3D visualization, basic dermatology, hair growth, biology, physionomy, morphology, and techniques (and then some) kept me up many a late evening. From my Special Care Counseling background, I knew that establishing a study routine and atmosphere would help - I listened to George Michael's Greatest Hits album, Ladies and Gentlemen, every single time. Often restarting the album to continue in to the wee hours. The sound was so soothing that my youngest son began asking me to play it when he had difficulty sleeping, as it really helped both of my boys relax.

Last school year my youngest son joined us, beginning secondary 1 (grade seven) at MVHS. The boys and I drove to school together on those three days, talking about life and times, and gearing up and down through our days.

Two school years later, my eldest son has begun four days per week on the weeks he is with me, and he loves being at school. He started boarding the adapted transport van with his special needs gang from school as of the first day of school. He feels special, grown up, and doesn't have mum hanging around all of the time. My youngest has begun secondary 2 after being on the Honour Roll (80% average and up) every semester of secondary 1.

Thousands of perm rollers, curlers, snips of my scissors, and 23-or-so written exams and many practical exams later, on Friday I had my final exam. Joined by the three other survivors of our small group (the first three-day gang), we spent the entire day each on a respective head, following specific guidelines and measurements we established, demonstrating the skills that were hard-won. (I might add that the other three students all turned seventeen towards the end of last school year, completing a 'double diploma' of the last two years of high school and their DEP at the same time.)

Later on Friday evening I received a message. I passed my final exam.

In spite of what felt like crushing circumstances, I completed my studies. I could hardly believe it, and it really hasn't sunk in yet. Two weeks of internship await, and then a day to review the internship experience with our teachers and we're done.

If you, or someone you know, experiences a tough time that feels like a personal tsunami, there is hope! Drawing boards never run dry. Revisit possibility, opportunities, and keep putting out feelers. Focus on basic needs and the rest will open up. It takes time, patience and a kind of determination to follow the truth, and then life answers back.

Thank you to my friends and family, teachers and classmates, and the people of Campus Brome-missisquoi who supported me through this demanding, powerful journey. It was worth every single moment.

I am a special needs mother with a brand new career.

Oh, and .... if this sounds like I just wrote an entire column patting myself on the back, well, you bet I did. And you, YOU out there that needed to hear that people can survive and thrive in spite of circumstances beyond your control, grasp and means, well, you can survive too - you can get through, you can succeed and build yourself a good life, no matter what the world has seemed like so far, no matter how alone you feel, no matter how few resources you feel like you have to work with, no matter what anyone else says. GO FOR IT. YOU CAN DO IT.