Growing up together
Reflections of a local “Big Brother” pair on the importance of mentorship
Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Canada is a well established mentoring program, but Shanna Young says that she was still surprised to find it had a presence in the Eastern Townships.
“As a single mother, I was looking for a positive male role model in my sons’ life,” she said, explaining that when her children were involved with the “Big Buddies” program run by Bishop’s University when the family lived in Lennoxville, but lost that opportunity for mentorship when moving to Sherbrooke. Seeking a replacement, she turned to the internet and discovered the local “Grands Frères Grandes Soeurs” chapter.
Shanna’s sons Marcus and Ryan are both now involved with the program, the former having been matched with a “big brother” back in April and the latter just about a month ago
“You apply online, and then go in for an interview about why you want to do it,” she said. “When they find someone who suits the child, then the parent goes to meet with the big brother or big sister to determine if they are comfortable with that person meeting their child.”
In the case of Félix Mathieu, who was chosen as Ryan’s big brother, the connection seemed natural and immediate.
“I walked in the door and he smiled, and I knew,” Shanna said, describing the mentor as upbeat, motivated, sporty, and cheerful. “It took me all of five minutes to determine that this was the right partner for Ryan.”
Ryan, who had only a few words to share in conversation with The Record, described his mentor as “Nice and fun and cool.” He shared that since being matched in the springtime, they have done a lot of different activities together including kayaking, hiking, basketball, going to the movies, watching a hockey game, and rollerblading.
“I like trying out new things,” he said. “It’s fun.”
“We do activities pretty much three times per month,” Félix told The Record, adding that because Ryan is a very active child, they focus mainly on sports and physical activities. “We know each other pretty well now, he’s like my buddy.”
Each visit lasts between three and six hours, depending on the activity and the “brothers’” availability, and is decided and agreed upon in advance.
This is Félix’s first match as a part of the Big Brothers and Big Sisters program, although he said that the desire to get involved comes from a family legacy of helping others, as his mother is the president of a local organization called Marraine Tendresse.
“They take care of babies when the moms are tired or need a bit of time,” he said, suggesting that although his mother’s group works with quite a different age range, the basic principle is similar. “That really motivated me to do this.”
While the tendency might be for people to think of the family seeking a mentor as the only ones who benefit from such a program, Félix said that he feels this new relationship has helped him develop a new sense of responsibility.
“I feel like I have grown up a lot, doing this,” he said. “(Ryan) teaches me about himself, but about me as well.”
On top of coming from different backgrounds, the mentor pointed out that working with his “little brother” gives him a lot of opportunity to interact with someone of a different generation.
“I find it really interesting to see how he thinks,” he said.