What’s in a wedding?
sudden bursts of alignment.
The bakers and cake-makers’ families wonder again when their weekends will be the same, watching the calendar fill with ‘dos, followed up with late nights and early mornings full of fondant twists, layer upon layer of practiced stability, strokes of genius, utter frustration, lettering, filigree, tears, glee, and moments when they are pretty sure they knew how Leonardo da Vinci felt looking at a finished work and knew that it was almost perfect.
Photographers pour over lists of poses, charge batteries, test lighting and new lenses, invest in new accessories, equipment and software, and then accompany for the day, squeezing into awkward spots, wait as folks gather, constellations and configurations of family and friends clustering around the constant couple who occasionally have a moment to gaze into each other’s eyes, often slightly exhausted but overwhelmed by the swell of the day, because they did it – they committed and kissed, signed and survived and with a slip of rings on fingers performed a sacred rite. Over the day other guests consider their own lot, contemplating years gone by, remember their own days, celebrate or rumble inside, think of loves past and gone, or moved on. The mixture often captured in candids, sometimes unwittingly, on film. At the end of the day the photographer returns home with the entire event in their hands, unloading almost completely into their digital darkroom with some occasionally still preserving the chemical art, reliving all of the moments, selecting and sifting, sorting and creating a timeline punctuated with macro moments of rings and glances, details that made the day.
The list goes on. Salons, partyplanners, luxury car rentals, hotel stays, honeymoon settings, travel agents, and in some communities the famous groups of wedding babysitters, hired together to occupy the smalls when the night has drawn on long enough for them, and into the land of grown-ups. There are so many elements to nuptials.
And so, this year, possibly the slowest wedding season in a century scales it all back.
There are gaps and silences in sacred places, fridges, salons and reception halls.
Some have scaled back and maintained their dates, respecting rules and attempting to keep everyone safe. Others have opted to wait, gowns, suits and accessories in stasis in closets, shoeboxes, binders of details bursting with hope for a future time.
So the plans continue on, morphing, adapting or remaining set.
The flower girls and ring-bearers grow.
The bakers work on never-ending birthday cakes, occasionally playing with ideas and keeping nimble on new confectionery style, and the gowns hang in the shops, or sit in online vignettes, the suits stay sharp.
And love waits for its day.
--Post
script: If you know someone in the business of wedding details, please consider encouraging their business by making purchases from them. Buy yourself flowers, order outlandish cupcakes, have your nails done. Supporting one another is how we will all get through this.
And to those of you who’ve had to adjust the plans for your wedding day, may these strange adaptations make it only a richer, more poignant version of what would have been, and may that day come in a timely and profound way.
Oh, and a very happy 35th wedding anniversary to Auntie Debbie Chatfield and Uncle Michel Massé. Your big day was big for us too!