Dear Annie
Dear Annie: I will open with how much I love your advice column. However, your recently published advice about calling the restaurant because they were possibly dealing with a new server was a little unnerving.
I have been in the service industry for many years. Sometimes, it’s poor management or an unseasoned host, where most people in the service industry start. The host typically informs the server that they have a table.
The server definitely has a responsibility to be on the lookout for that, but it takes a team. -- It’s Not Always the Server
Dear Not Always the Server: Thank you for offering a perspective that is only seen from the inside of the restaurant industry. You are absolutely correct that it could be the manager or host, and it’s not always the server. As you say, it takes a team.
Dear Annie: I read with great interest the responses you received about “Wondering,” who asked why some older men smell bad. Surprisingly, no one mentioned bromhidrosis, the medical issue where a person doesn’t make enough of the usual enzymes that neutralize body odors. Bromhidrosis affects only a small percentage of the general population, but it’s thought to increase as people age.
I’m a 55-year-old female who has bromhidrosis and who started to be teased about my body odor when I started puberty at age 10. My hygiene is impeccable, and I shower and change my clothes twice a day or more, but I still receive regular comments about how I smell. I’ve lost several jobs, friendships and social invitations over this.
Please let your readers know that some of us cannot help the way we smell and would appreciate everyone’s understanding and kindness. -- Stinky in Davis, California
Dear Stinky: Thank you for your letter. I am printing it in hopes that more people will be aware of this condition. You certainly deserve understanding and kindness.
Dear Annie: This is about being kept waiting, whether at a doctor’s office or in a restaurant. I feel that after 70 years on this planet, I have earned the right to respect and be respected. Doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs and restaurateurs all need to do unto others as they wish to be treated.
Therefore, I have imposed a 15-minute rule. My patience expires after 15 minutes, and I leave the establishment abruptly. Life is too short to not have your time respected. -- Respect My Time
Dear Respect: While I understand your hard and fast rule of 15 minutes, there are situations that warrant having to wait more than 15 minutes. For instance, I received a letter from a reader who was scheduled for a short surgical procedure but had to wait for an hour because the surgeon was delayed because of complications in a surgery. The reader who wrote to me said she was upset about being kept waiting but was so glad she stayed because her procedure was quick and successful.
Sometimes, attorneys get stuck in court. You are right to expect your appointments to be on time, but a little flexibility will help with your happiness. Instead of saying nothing and then marching off in a huff, I would suggest chatting with the receptionist or nurse or restaurant manager to find out what is going on.