Summer brain melt is a real thing
The humidity has been out of control for weeks — maybe a month, who even knows anymore.
My hair is twice its normal size, and I have big hair so that’s really saying something. Everyone’s hot and sticky all the time. Our house doesn’t have air conditioning, but it does have warm, damp breezes whipping through the windows. They are not refreshing.
My brain is melting, along with the makeup I half-heartedly swipe across my face when I’m making an effort. Summer brain melt is a real thing, I’ve decided. It’s diagnosed when parents (and children) are hot and cranky and can’t seem to focus.
I felt like I had nothing to write about this week, really, so I asked my eight-year-old and six-year-old to pinch-hit. (I really must be dazed and overheated if I’m using a sports reference.)
I told them the topic was “summer vacation,” and even tapped out a few questions for them to answer. It kept them busy for almost an hour, since it’s hard for newbie typers to spell when the A, S, C, N, M, I, O and P letters are completely worn off your keys. (“Mom! I don’t see the M!” “Just skip it! Mommy will fix it later!”)
So, in the spirit of summer brain melt — and to celebrate that summer vacation is nearing the halfway point as I write this — here is what they had to say ...
Hello my name is Dexter. This is Charlotte. I’m here to tell you how much fun summer can be for a kid. Summer for a kid has so much time to make new friends. One boring thing: math worksheets in the morning, but some kids like it. Some grown-ups don’t like summer because their kids get loud and rowdy.
Q: How is our summer going so far?
Very good.
What’s something we do every day?
A: Play Minecraft.
Q: What has been your favourite activity so far this summer? Minecraft.
What is something you don’t like about summer?
Outside.
What else do you want to do this summer?
More Minecraft.
Mommy is nice when she _______.
A: Is here. (I hardly leave this house, so this was a surprising answer. And no, I am not always nice when I’m here.)
Q: I don’t like when Mommy is _________.
Mad.
What do you think about going back to school?
New friends.
What are you looking forward to about going back to school?
New friends.
What is Mommy looking forward to about back-to-school time?
A: No kiddies.
So, there you have it, folks. You can take your children on a vacation to Ontario — including the fun of airplane rides, a house with a pool and a visit to Chuck E. Cheese’s and they will only remember playing Minecraft at home. You can take them out to eat, to swim, to the library, to get ice cream cones, to fly kites, to the playground and pay for a lovely week of day camp and it will vanish from their memories.
Want to make your child’s summer magical? Let them play lots of Minecraft, apparently.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go sit directly in front of a fan and resume counting down until the first day of school.
Heather Laura Clarke is a freelance journalist who married her high school sweetheart. They moved from the city to the country, where they spend their days making messes and memories with their eight-year-old son and six-year-old daughter. Follow their family’s adventures over at www.heathershandmadelife.com.