WORDS BY PERRY MACK

4. Put out your smokes and other open flames. ‘Ha ha’ just kidding. No I’m not.

5. Your portable tanks need to go ashore for filling. Yes, it can be a pain in the ass if you don’t trailer your boat.

6. You should touch something metal before you start filling to discharge any static electricity you have built up in your body, and keep the nozzle against the edge of the fuel fill port to prevent a spark. ‘Flame On!’ is only painless in Marvel comic books. Also keep your hand on the filling nozzle, if you need both hands to talk – shut up. 7. Prevent leakage. You should have an idea how much fuel you need so don’t overfill. Only fill to 90% as the fuel expands as it warms up. If you spill any, wipe it up and dispose of the cloth onshore. Fuel soaked rags stuck in a corner can ignite spontaneously. This is bad as it can be a long swim for survivors after the explosion.

8. Ventilate the bilge with your marine blower for at least 5 minutes and give it a sniff before you crank on the engine. If the boats fume detector doesn’t work, hopefully your nose will.

9. Put your passengers back in the boat and enjoy!