Gadget Guru ’s magic box

Winter, eh? Goodness, GaGu’s dangliest bits have

shrivelled somewhat. But short of a quick sabbatical

to Australia – which Guru’s granddad suggested was

quite lovely in those blood-stained letters that GaGu

Sr. kept wrapped in medical plastic – there’s really

only one solution: a nice new gaming laptop, all set

to radiate the heat of a thousand hells directly into GaGu’s rapidly-sterilising crotch.

The newly updated and hyper-gaudy Alienware 17 R3 (£2,000 for the UHD model, don’t bother with the others) is a perfect glowing statement of intent,

and you can slap on an external USB-C graphic

module (£250 unpopulated, plus whatever you spend

on a graphics card) to further warm your room.

While you’re at it, you could do worse than treating your frozen fingers to a ValueRays Heated Mouse (about £30), which – ah, who is GaGu trying to kid? This mouse is a stupid gimmick. Don’t waste your

hard-earned money. Buy some gloves or something.

GaGu’s favourite sounds-like-complete-nonsense tech of the month is the Halo Sport Neuropriming Headset (on pre-order for £380), which apparently fires some sort of electricity into the brain to ‘prime’ your your ‘neuros’ muscles and that tell it’s

time to

get exercising? Not sure,

and that headband

looks

a bit fearsome, but if it

works it opens up a

world

of torturous possibilities.

Hidden weaponry of the month comes in the form of the Titanium Pocket Tool (£28 if you’re in time to catch the Kickstarter) which is an impossibly-thin

multi-tool that’s the perfect size to stuff a standard

utility knife inside. You shouldn’t do that, though –

threaten opponents with the hex-bit driver, adaptable

wrench and ‘secret’ bottle opener instead.

Finally, what’s the worst bit about DIY? In GaGu’s

opinion, it’s the hideous immovable claw that replaces

his hand after a good old-fashioned bout of hammerin’. Never fear, though: Fiskars’ improbable-looking IsoCore hammer design, which purports to reduce the