Gadget Guru
This issue, T3’ s resident know-it-all advises on how to tech-up your bathroom, avoid shooting shaky videos… and disappear without a trace!
AAh, the bathroom. GaGu’s one true sanctuary. Mrs Guru and the kids aren’t too happy about having to ablute in the rear courtyard under the hose, but a man needs his privacy.
If you’re going for a full remodel, build everything around Kohler’s luxurious Numi toilet ($6,400/£4,523, kohler.com), an angular ceramic box that hides an integrated selfcleaning bidet wand (which will also air-dry your unmentionables afterwards), has an auto-opening heated seat, a foot-warmer and inexplicable lights, and even plays back your favourite tunes via Bluetooth.
With that out of the way, it’s time for a shower. While the Phoenix Shower Blade 2 (£186, phoenix-uk.co.uk) can’t be pulled off the wall to give your undercarriage a squirt, its oblong mixture of raindrops and waterfall action make it a pleasant way to wash away the evidence of the night before. Ignore all shower heads with lights, speakers or heating coils built in: shoddy electrics and water are a recipe for disaster. Instead, put the Hansgrohe RainBrain (£4,590, hansgrohe.co.uk) in charge of the shower itself – it’ll preheat the water to your exact specs, play music, regulate flow rates, prevent scalding and, if you share a bathroom, store five user settings on board.
If you’re one to fester in your own filth, a combination whirlpool (side jets) and air pool (bottom bubbles) bath should be on your list; most of these systems can be installed in any tub, but keep £1,500 aside for the privilege of having your dirt particles sloshed around you. Grab an automated mixer tap for your hand basin (heck, why not plump for a £1,379 Dyson Airblade Tap while we’re in the squandering-money mood – dyson.co.uk), and make sure there’s at least one screen to distract you from the important business – the Watervue 42-inch Bathroom Mirror TV (£2,005, watervue.co.uk) is mist-free, waterproof, and shows you just how hideous you are when it’s switched off.
“Ignore shower heads with lights, speakers or heating coils built in. Shoddy electrics and water don’t mix”