Gadg et Guru’s magic box

Apple has finally pulled its finger out and unleashed a new range of MacBooks, only about six months after GaGu’s malfunctioning crystal ball projected news of their imminent arrival. They look… just okay? Not a huge amount better than the 2015 line-up, despite that intriguing touch bar. The worrying thing is that even with all the improvements, GaGu didn’t immediately don his Tim Cook t-shirt and rush to his local Apple Store, credit card in hand. Mainly because Guru’s credit card can no longer keep pace with Apple’s pricing. Better, instead, to pay off a chunk in anticipation of the stunning-looking Surface Studio. Microsoft’s hardware division is on fire right now, providing you completely ignore the mobile phone market. Finally, Guru’s measurement gland was stimulated this month with the IndieGoGo appearance of the Instrumments 01 Dimensioning Instrument (£144), a magical pen-like device (with added laser and, er, pen) which measures lines, curves and whatnot using a smartphone-connected wheel. Perfect for working out the length and breadth of awkward things, while also being highly useful in a ‘larking about’ context. “Dimension your grandfather’s moustache”, they suggest, somehow aware of Guru the Elder’s fantastic mouth curtains. Though if they’d really known GaGu they wouldn’t have added “compete for the largest bicep”, since there’s really no point. Old Uncle Guru, ever the fan of interesting and odd devices, has been browsing AliExpress in search of China’s finest clattery consoles and simultaneously prepping his postie for a mammoth customs bill. The postman is paying, of course. Winging its way halfway across the world right now is a GPD Win X7 Z8700 (£286), a fully functioning, Atom based Windows 10 computer barely bigger than a Nintendo 3DS XL. Guru’s big thumbs might not be entirely compatible with its microscopic keyboard, but the fact that it does Steam in-home streaming and can natively play AAA titles from a couple of years ago means some seriously extended visits to the throne room are on the horizon.