Can I get a hot meal while I’m out hiking?

You could pack one of Coleman’s Campingaz stoves – about £30 for the Twister Plus PZ, which includes a dinky little pot to cook in and the gas canister – but Guru finds they’re supremely awkward to use unless you have the right spot on the right day.

Make like the military, then, and bag yourself some self-heating MREs, meals ready to eat. GaGu hasn’t personally eaten any of the fare from hotpackmeals.co.uk, but his gardener (who’s not allowed within 15 feet of an open flame for complicated reasons) says they’re less disgusting than you might think. A sample pack of all eight meals goes for £40, or you can ensconce 20 of your own meals in its sorcerous self-heating bags for £30.