Gadget Guru’s magic box

Guru has put on his finest suit and done up those buttons which still meet around his midriff. Butterfly tummy time: whatever will the

Echo Look ($199/£TBC, invite-only at press time) say about his fashion choices? Gosh, GaGu hopes it accepts the ketchup-stained reality and loves him all the same. But, oh-ho, wouldn’t you know, it’s taking full-length pictures of his bum and automatically burping up harsh truths about the absolute state of him. Of course it is. You may get on brilliantly with the robo style advice of the Look, you gorgeous specimen you – Guru prefers, as is the sensible choice in any healthy marriage, to accept the (only slightly) filtered feedback of Mrs Guru instead. Perhaps he’ll stick with the Echo Show ($229/£TBC) and its less judgmental screen.

Guru’s doldrums escape comes in the form of the CHEMION Bluetooth LED glasses (£54), which, once you’ve confirmed that you already look a complete shambles, are the perfect way to add levity to any situation. Wear them to the bank, and

scroll ‘I’d like to make a withdrawal’ over your silly face via the app! Unnerve the driver in the car in front by pretending to be a Cylon! Have a party, and be forever known as that idiot who wore light-up sunglasses at night!

While ol’ Guru was, sadly for his stomach, too slow off the mark to snag any MP3-playerinfused Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 crisps (now going for silly money on eBay) he has nonetheless been going old-school with his listening, picking up a weeny Sandisk Sansa

Clip Jam (£25 for the 8GB model). Yes, it can’t manage high-res, it has a horrible interface, and it’s far from cool, but it is tiny, it is light, and its throwaway price means you can drop it in the toilet and not have to worry about fishing it out. Better than dunking your phone or a half-grand player from A&K or Cowon, isn’t it?