10ELEVEN9

Crowd-funded

What is it?

Some people with small beards and dodgy hats sit in a coffee shop, poring over a list of proper nouns. The venture capitalist will be arriving soon. They have already purchased their edgy nonsense domain name; the only thing left on their moleskin to-do is to combine the word ‘smart’ with one of this loose collection of words. ‘Shirt’ is chosen – what a fantastic idea, Julian. Hats are doffed, double espressos downed, guffaws guffawed. Job done.

What makes a shirt smart?

At its default ¤150 (£130) investment level, the shirt’s key selling point is that it has pockets (some RFID-shielded) to cradle your keys and wallet without making it look like you have things stuffed in your shirt. This is because, by design, it’s baggy and ill-fitting.

Doesn’t sound very smart.

Oh, wait. You knew this bit was coming: if you want the requisite collection of Bluetooth geegaws – a monitor for your heart rate, breathing and posture, along with a set of digital cufflinks which vibrate and take touch inputs – it’s an extra ¤100. If you want a camera to stick in the pocket, ¤100 more than that.

Why so cross , Guru?

If you’re prepared to overhaul your entire wardrobe with a rack of expensive and questionably designed shirts (which, according to the Kickstarter page, include a top layer that is 106 per cent fabric) then either your money-to-sense ratio is off kilter or your taste in garments does not align with Guru’s. Buy a decent smartwatch and wear it with whatever you like.

How did it do?

Guru’s faith in humanity went up a pip or two, because 10ELEVEN9 didn’t meet its reasonably modest funding goal. Let’s put this idea to rest, yeah?