Gadget Guru’s magic box

After a disappointing summer filled with damp squib barbecues and bored-to-violence children, Guru’s attention turns, as it often does, to the miserable descent into a dark, cold winter. But that damn season won’t catch him unawares this year. GaGu is ready for it. A pre-emptive purchase of the SAD Solutions

Bluelight lamp (£99) should help fend off the seasonal blues with a timed blast of scientifically coloured light every day, and provide ample opportunities for blown-out overbright selfies too. You might suggest that, rather than buying a special light, Guru ought to open the blinds and get some sun on his face, but you should shut your mouth.

Let’s hope Guru lives long enough to use his SAD lamp, though, considering he has one eye on the Kickstarter for the

Uno Bolt electric unicycle

($1499/about £1135, plus hefty shipping fees) at all times. An absolutely preposterous device with a massive air-cornering tyre, Chopper-esque padded seat and gyroscopic balance and braking, it’s like the sit-down Segway that Mrs Guru never knew Guru needed. It has a 25-mile range, which should be enough to escape the certain admonishment that’ll happen when it arrives at Guru Towers, and a reasonably deadly top speed of 22mph. Let’s roll!

Guru’s wrist has been nagging at him again, so thank goodness for whichever Danish genius designed the minimalist Skagen Signatur Connected (from £175) watch. Guru can’t actually express how beautiful this thing is without resorting to publisherbaiting swears, so let’s just say it’s absolutely gorgeous. Not only is it pretty, it’s equipped with hybrid smartwatch functions, meaning your arm will buzz when you get a message, the date and time set themselves automatically, there’s activity and sleep tracking on board, and you can control your tunes with its extra-wide buttons. Best stock up with CR2430 batteries, ‘cos this thing ain’t rechargeable...