GADGET GURU’S MAGIC BOX

Guru’s now ten-year-old daughter is a difficult creature – one who (don’t tell the authorities) can’t stop looking at Instagram. So allow Guru to tell you about three things that are popular with influencers and therefore essential to the very concept of being alive.

Biggest thing right now? The Stanley Cup. Not the ice hockey trophy which looks like a big silvery cake, but the insulated drinks vessel – the Quencher 2.0 model, to be exact. There are a number of reasons why it has made its way out of fishing bags and off of construction sites into the iron grip of excited tweens, including (amongst others) the company’s switch to pastel shades, exclusive and over-hyped colour drops, and the fact that it’s very effective at keeping drinks cold. Good luck getting one in the UK, mind: they’re £45 from uk.stanley1913.com and basically cannot be kept in stock.

Mini Guru is not allowed to apply heat to her hair – it is a mop thrashed enough by other things – so attests to the power of ‘heatless curls’. It’s a big sausage of soft fabric that you wind around your follicles at night, then you wake up with wedding-ready wibbles going on. Or something. You should get SILKE London’s version (GaGu is told) for £45 from lookfantastic.com. Finally, one Guru really doesn’t understand: Starface Hydro-Stars (get ’em from Superdrug for about £15). Point one, Mini Guru has not yet hit the greasy stage, so she’s just slapping these spot-coverers on the non-blemishes that are not on her face. Point two is that apparently the solution to having an embarrassing zit is to go all-in, plastering your mug with a massive look-at-me hydrating star sticker? Weird. Though GaGu remembers when he was a teen, he covered his emotional scars with bright blue hair, a wallet chain and the worst starter beard you could possibly imagine, so maybe gluing a star to one’s face isn’t so far-fetched.