Feel all the feels this holiday season
Hello friends,
As the holidays approach, Blair and I will be taking a break from our weekly columns so that we can embrace the season and restore our creative juices.
We are aware that many of you are sharing the reality that this will be a season like no other and so we want to leave you with a few words of support.
This week I spoke with Jeff Douglas on Mainstreet with my daughter Sophia about how we’re coping and healing through this difficult journey. I mentioned the surprising desire to express joy amidst my grief, leading me to a realization that I have been holding the expectation to be constantly depressed and mournful (which Lisa was anything but). While I’ve had more than my share of those moments, I’ve also had moments of deep gratitude for the life I shared with my siblings along with moments of silliness, remembering their goofy personalities.
Joyous behavior may not fall into your idea of what grieving looks like, but as bereavement counsellor, Serena Lewis advised in her recent grief webinar, we can all stand to drop our preconceived notions about how we ‘ should’ grieve.
From a brain science perspective, professor and counsellor Dr. Earl Henslin claims that, “The happiest people are the most grateful ones; the most joyful brains have learned to reframe their pain.”
I hope that you can take this awareness into your holiday season and let yourself feel all the feels, the pain, the sorrow, the gladness AND the joy that springs forth when you look at old photos or hold a memorable ornament. Know that each time you allow yourself to feel joy, you’re bathing your brain in healthy chemicals, which will open pathways for more and more glimpses of happiness in the future.
Sometimes we need to rely on the sunshine from the outside, like leaning on the support of others during dark times, but we can also pull open the curtains over our own hearts and let the sun shine from the inside out.
May you actively make this a restorative holiday, search for reasons to be grateful and make the most of the time in your bubbles.