The Chronicle Herald (Provincial)
Parents band together for change
Michele Haire’s voice quivered as she said her son’s name – Cameron.
“Every single day is a struggle,” Haire said before letting out a deep exhale.
It was April 16, two days before Cameron’s 27th birthday.
But for the first time since he was born, Cameron wouldn’t be there to celebrate.
He took his life on Aug. 11, 2023.
ON AND OFF STRUGGLES
Generous. Loving. Kind.
Those are just a few of the words that Haire uses to describe her youngest son.
“He was just so generous and loving and I think that ended up being part of the problem because he felt everything so deeply,” Haire said.
Haire said Cameron struggled on and off with depression, but it felt like his mental health started to improve when he went back to school to become a pharmacy technician.
“We just felt like he was really hitting his stride and becoming who he’s meant to be and then COVID hit and he was isolated at home because they weren’t doing classes. It was all online,” she said.
“And from there, everything just seemed to be going downhill in this world.”
‘HE WOULD ALWAYS CALL’
One day when Haire was at work, she received a call from Cameron’s employer.
“They said, ‘Cameron didn’t come to work today,’ and that’s not like him,” she recalled. “If he needed time off, he would always call.”
Haire immediately left work to find Cameron sitting in their Lower Sackville home.
It was then that he expressed suicidal ideation to her, so she called the 24-hour mental health crisis line, who directed her to take Cameron to the emergency department.
But Cameron didn’t want to go, fearing someone he knew would see him. He had also gone previously for his friends, but thought they had poor experiences.
He didn’t have a family doctor to turn to, so Haire made an appointment for him through virtual care. The health-care provider said they didn’t specialize in mental health, so suggested he go to a walk-in clinic, but Cameron didn’t want to do that either.
“He’s 26 years old and an adult. I can’t drag him somewhere,” Haire said.
INFORMATION BARRIERS
The barriers someone faces when trying to get their adult child help through the healthcare system is one Nancy Saunders knows all too well.
When Saunders tried to get her 29-year-old son, Ben Brennan, an earlier appointment than he had been scheduled for through the mental health intake line, she was told she wasn’t allowed to interfere due to his age.
When Saunders tried to speak to their family doctor about Brennan’s situation, the doctor said she wasn’t allowed to share anything.
On April 5, 2023, only four months after Saunders tried to get her son an earlier appointment, Brennan took his own life.
“In Ben’s situation, there were opportunities where I could have been given information that may have helped me to intervene and change Ben’s path,” Saunders said.
“I could have been given very useful information if someone would have even talked to me.”
ALONE IN THE FIGHT
But as Kelly Mitchell learned, even if your child is under the age of 18, it doesn’t mean you’ll get the full picture from the health-care system.
Mitchell noticed her daughter Aidaen’s mental health starting to decline in Grade 5. Two years later, Mitchell said she discovered Aidaen had been self-harming.
“When we found out about that, we were a very proactive family and took it very seriously to try to get all of the help that we could,” Mitchell said.
But Mitchell said as parents, it felt like they were alone in their fight for Aidaen’s life.
Mitchell said she and her husband weren’t allowed to know anything that was disclosed during Aidaen’s psychology or therapy appointments at the hospital.
She said her family did what they could to care for Aidaen but didn’t have all the necessary information to do so.
“It was going downhill and it was like nobody is listening,” Mitchell recalled.
On Feb. 21, 2019, Aidaen took her own life. She was only 14.
CHANGES NEEDED
Since losing their children, Haire, Mitchell and Saunders have each reflected on their experience with Nova Scotia’s mental health-care system.
In separate interviews, they brought up changes they would like to see, such as a separate emergency department to deal with mental health and better access to mental health services.
The three mothers, as well as other parents who have lost their children, are coming together in hopes of changing the Personal Health Information Act, as well as seeing the consent form and information-sharing guidelines applied earlier in a patient’s journey.
“There’s all kinds of issues but every one of them, in all the cases, there were issues in being able to actually help their young adult or teenager get the help they needed,” said Saunders, who has been working with other parents rallying for the changes.
SHARED STORIES
Today, and each Saturday through to June 1, The Chronicle Herald will be sharing stories of people who lost loved ones to suicide.
You’ll learn about the lives of Cameron Haire, Aidaen Mitchell, Lucas Rushton, Cayley Fox, Luke Brackett and Jevon Link.
You’ll also hear from their family members about the changes they want to see when it comes to Nova Scotia’s mental health and addictions system.
“At this point, we’ve lost our children,” Saunders said.
“We’re just hoping to prevent other families from going through this terrible thing that changes your life forever. It changes you forever.”