Some sober thoughts from Shannon Linden on her month without alcohol
As I pen this piece, I am on the home stretch, with just six days to go in my February Freeze. In the spirit of those who have gone before me, detoxing their livers by ditching their drinks, I’m going to toast my monumental effort with a nightcap — err, I mean a recap — of what I have learned from a month without alcohol. Fun Fact: Sober is smarter. Some 80 per cent of Canadians partake of alcoholic beverages, so when you join the ranks of the 20 per cent who are sober, it may come as a startling realization all those times you thought you were on your game with a drink in hand, you sometimes missed the ball.
Sipping soda water, you hone in on conversations as you study your fellow patrons (while secretly salivating over their wine). You pick up on details that would’ve gone right by your buzzed brain, like how many small squares there are in a square metre of geometric carpeting at the restaurant. You are highly capable of contributing said fascinating facts, if only your drunken friends could give a damn.
Truth: People might like the stupider you more. Like my friend, who did Sober October, said, “I actually thought I was more fun and interesting during my month of abstinence, but I’m not sure my friends felt the same way.”
Fun fact: What you eat influences what you drink.
I relish my glass of vino, genuinely appreciating the way it enhances food. A gourmet meal, whether out or dining in, just didn’t feel the same with sparkling water or, worse, a mocktail.
One evening, when my husband served barbecued steaks, I pulled a pout because red wine and red meat go together. On the other hand, when we went out for sushi with friends and they took down giant beers, I happily sipped my steaming green tea and felt fine, not a drop of jealousy.
Truth: If your end goal is to limit wine to weekends, don’t barbecue steaks on a Monday night. Feel free to sushi anytime.
Fun fact: It’s easier to say no when you can say why.
A lot of people will cock their heads sideways, a quizzical look on their faces, much like my border collie when I talk to her, when you say you’re not drinking for a month. If you can offer an important sounding reason for this decision, like you’re on antibiotics; you’ve got H-pylori or two duodenal ulcers; maybe you’re doing it for the BC Cancer Foundation, people respect that.
Truth: While abstaining from alcohol, as part of your lifestyle, needs no explanation, throwing out a medical reason puts a cork in the naysayers’ mouths. So does enlightening your listeners with a list of stats and studies that back up what seemed like a brilliant idea in January.
Fun fact: You will sleep better and dream more.
We get more REM sleep when we’re not drinking, resulting in higher quality slumber with frequent flights to la-la land. Both my husband and I reported dreaming more, although we shared the same reoccurring nightmare in which we found ourselves at the bottom of a frosty glass at some seedy bar or even our kitchen counter. It wasn’t until we took our last sip we realized, with utter horror, what we had done. It was scary and awful, but most disturbing was the thought of starting the month all over again.
Truth: You can run but you cannot hide. The booze will haunt you.
Which brings me to this Fun Fact: You might never stop thinking about drinking.
While the first week was unquestionably the hardest, I have had booze on the brain each and every day. Granted, I’ve been chronicling the whole dealcoholized adventure, but still.
Some people report they lose the craving all together and forget about it. Really?
Kind of like being on a diet, when all you can think about is a big bag of chips. When we’re told we can’t have something, we want it all the more. Psychologists call this tunnelling. When the mind is confronted with scarcity, it thinks of nothing else.
Truth: The whole fasting thing might make you hungrier or, in this case, thirstier.
Fun fact: You will wake up glad you didn’t drink the night before and you will be scared to start drinking again.
I do feel cleaner, fresher, sharper, and better rested and thus I am terrified the gains I have made in good health will quickly go good-bye with my first sip. I’m equally frightened of the horrible hangover others who’ve gone before promise I’ll have.
Truth: Most people report they gain perspective and have a whole new appreciation for the privilege of drinking following abstinence. This keeps them in check and helps them curtail future intake.
Fun fact: you will finally understand the meaning of teetotaler.
I have consumed so much sparkling water, I am bubbling over. But it is the terrific amounts of tea that have really helped to distract me from boozy beverages. Green tea, mint tea, tiger tea, and chamomile; decaf orange pekoe and chocolate matcha, you betcha. Tea is tasty, warm and soothing, full to the brim with various health benefits, and when heavily laden with honey, can stop you from eating cupcakes.
Truth: You may never be more hydrated in your life, but you will undoubtedly interrupt that great sleep with a nightly visit to the loo.
And so friends, this brings us to the end of my series and the beginning of my wine-on-weekends lifestyle. It’s been a cleansing experience and I’m sure my liver thanks me. I thank you for following along. Cheers.
Shannon Linden is chronicling her month without booze on Fridays in The Daily Courier. Visit her at shannonlinden.ca to read her magazine articles and to sign up for her new blog, Books, Blood, and Baking.