Curmudgeon needs coffee to be nice

Editor: A fellow called me following my last letter on getting older to state, ”You should view the glass of water as half full rather than as half empty. Get up each morning and challenge the world, smile and greet people warmly, be less argumentative, thank the Lord for what you have, not what you may be lacking.”

Now, I don’t consider myself as being quarrelsome. Why should I engage with someone when I already know they are wrong. They will be totally indifferent to another point of view.

Now, if they wish to understand why they are wrong, then I am pleased to explain that fact to them. Unfortunately, rather than expressing appreciation, they often become displeased.

I once told a man that I thought he was too smart to hold such a ridiculous position. Why could he not see that as a compliment?

Now, as to starting the day, my spouse of decades is the type of person who gets up out of bed and who is cheerful instantly.

It still annoys me after all these years. I get up and go to the bathroom. I must walk to the store to get my paper because I can’t get delivery at the moment.

As I walk the sidewalk, I notice some people cross to the other side of the road. Small children run and hide behind their mothers’ skirts. Dogs whimper and head for the alley. The clerk at the store immediately opens up a till, so I can get my paper and leave.

Heading home is more dramatic because now I have to go to the bathroom. I sort of walk and then throw in a little skip. My wife ensures that the path to the bathroom is clear and starts my coffee in the machine. I am in my chair with my coffee, my paper.

Now, the day can begin. Don’t talk to me about being “nice” in the morning until I have my paper and my coffee, and am in my chair.

As for the smiling bit, I quite agree. But I have salespeople who smile nicely to me and they think, “Why do I have to put up with such a jerk?”

A car salesperson tried to sell me a new car and smiled constantly for an hour. He would say that he was trying to make me feel good.

Do you know that the executioner who cut off heads in the French Revolution smiled at his clients as they came up the stairs to meet their fate?

He would remark favourably on their hair as he pulled back and tied it. (Can’t have a messy procedure.)

Asked why, he said, “I want to make it a positive experience.”

My point, if I have one, is that not all smiles are created equally.

I do thank the Lord for a good life. I have fantastic family, friends, reasonable health. I do want to ask the Lord why I’ve had to suffer from allergies for 80 years, but that’s for another time

This is probably the most disjointed letter I have ever written. It started as a response to a phone call. Anyway, you may not have the opportunity to read it because the editor probably won’t print it. (I don’t blame him.)

If he does print it, I guess you will have to determine my purpose.

That’s good. It will keep you busy for as few days. Just ascribe my lack of clarity to the fact that, well, I am an old curmudgeon.

I don’t even know when to end this epistle. Perhaps now. Jim Jenkins Kelowna ed with health care. Everything that is bad for us as a species, other than short-term, acute inflammation reaction, is bad.

Chronic inflammation is debilitating. Who knew? I know that they don’t have a clue when they include a fruit juice box with the diabetic being transported home.

Twenty four grams of sugar, just what the diabetic needs. OK, let’s get to it.

There is a plethora of studies that demonstrate that — wait — cholesterol-laden foods aren’t deleterious to your health.

Even more, that elevated cholesterol won’t kill you, but low cholesterol more likely will.

OK, now for the hospital food. Eliminate all gluten, remove all grains. You never have to eat grains again in your life; you really won’t miss much. That means that you avoid cereal; nothing good in it save perhaps a bit of fibre in the best of them.

Don’t drink the fruit juice; it’s full of sugar and the root of all evils for health.

Stay away from potato and rice; it’s too high on the hyperglycemic index. No pancakes, no syrup, no full glass of milk, watch the bacon and no sausage.

What is left. Well, real eggs, yogurt, tea, coffee, and fruit. The same can be said for lunch, with some fish or chicken for protein and perhaps a small bit of cheese, and avocado and nuts, on a salad.

Dinner, no rice, no potato ( these are starches) no corn ( it’s a grain) vegetables please, perhaps some wild rice, and grass fed beef, wild fish, free roam chickens and steroid/ antibiotic free pork.

Dessert? Fruit please, and then some nuts for a snack, although no peanuts as they are ground not tree nuts, and thus a grain. So, you have it. The meal you should have in a hospital, and at home.

If you doubt this diatribe, I invite you to read a bit to educate yourself.

There are some 30 books at Chapters outlining the “Gut Biome” and what is really healthy for you. Richard Earnshaw, Critical care paramedic, Kelowna