Oh, Mary, improving relationships

Oh, Mary, don’t you weep don’t you mourn. Oh, Mary, don’t you weep don’t you mourn. Pharaoh’s army got drowned. Oh, Mary don’t you weep.

This was a popular folk song during the times of abject slavery in the 1800s United States and was often heard again in the civil rights movements of the’50s and ‘60s. It’s quite the story. You can find the details here: https://www.shmoop.com/mary-dontyou-weep/meaning.html.

Many assume it was Jesus’ mother, Mary, weeping over the death of her son. Such is not the case. It was actually Mary of Bethany weeping because her brother, Lazarus, was ill and she asked for the help of Jesus.

Before I jump into the sexual abuse fray, let me declare that I do not pretend to be an expert on women. Obviously, women are the experts on women and their opinions need to be more freely expressed. But I do know a lot of people, both men and women.

My wife and I each come from a family of eight children. Each had five boys and three girls with a stay-at-home mom. The fathers pretty much dominated. The mothers did not get driver’s licences until well into their sixties.

They seemed to only feel more of a sense of freedom after their husband’s had passed away. My father was a little on the quiet side. He hated politicians. My wife and daughter both had a driver’s licence at 16.

My wife and I have three children, one girl and two boys. She did not work away from home when the children were young but once they were in school she worked full time.

Her job as office coordinator kept all the degreed people organized. All three of my children have degrees. Yet, it is still the two boys who have jobs with the best benefits and pensions. My daughter has to pay her own benefits way, still.

We have tried to raise our children with a sense of equality, but the world often presses in and I have to admit that the women, even in our extended families, do not always enjoy the reality of full equality.

What discourages me is the immense mistrust that seems to be developing more and more in male/female realtionships.

If males were being beaten up regularly, both physically or mentally and regualrly abused there would be a lot more squawking. Women bare the brunt of realtionship abuse. And often carry a huge emotional burden.

The news media are loaded with horrible happenings to females. Hollywood producers, news anchors, and many men in trusted positions have abused their authority in usurous, uncalled for relationships.

Donald Trump is a horrible example to any man who also realize that many of the “mighty” men have fallen. It is the real males who help and care for their families and female friends on a day to day basis that are actually mighty.

It is past time that women just let the phonies fall and hope for the best. It is time for women to exert full legal rights, suing for damages when needed.

Both women and men need to also go after the perpretators of garbage examples in our society. Some Hollywood movies and even television are downright disgusting and the availabilty of pornography much worse. Speak out to the politicians ... at least the ones who are behaving!

So, here was Mary of Bethany, worried that her brother was dieing. She trusted the male, Jesus, to come and see what he could do to help. What was his first reaction? He wept.

He wept along with her to show his deep understanding of the trust she had placed in him. Let this be an example to males everywhere. We all need to weep with each other more often and for division of relationships.

Do not wait for Pharaoh’s army of evil to drown, whomever that might be. Step up to action.

As we enjoy the Christmas season, it is a good time to think about rebuilding relationships and conducting ourselves with dignity and respect that goes both ways.

Simple acts of caring are often the easiest place to start. Help each other with basic household duties, be well aware of what the children are doing, reach out to those who are lonely or alone.

Do not be afraid to show caring. It is quite OK for men to weep.

Reg Volk resides in the Okanagan and writes on politics and local issues. To contact the writer: regvolk@shaw.ca.