It should never happen, but it does

1. “This area is going to need people fighting for it, and I’m going to stay here and do that.” —Former Premier Christy Clark speaking to reporters on Canada Day in Kelowna. Clark resigned as leader and Westside-Kelowna MLA four weeks later.

2. “If you’re the best person for the job, you’re the best person for the job.”

—Lake Country Mayor James Baker in March after town councillor Matt Vader beat out 45 other applicants for a full-time job, at a salary of between $84,000-$95,000, with the municipality.

3. “Garbage stinks, OK? What are you supposed to do with it? Keep it in your refrigerators?” —West Kelowna Coun. Carol Zanon ridicules a regional district suggestion to pick up trash only every second week as a way of reducing landfill volumes.

4. “The verbal harassment was so great, he decided he didn’t want to work in Peachland anymore.”

—Mayor Cindy Fortin, describing the constant abuse received by a bylaw officer that forced him to quit his contract early.

5. “Choosing to do nothing means your community will suffer the consequences.”

—Literature provided to Kelowna city council by pot promoter Mark Conlin. The message was supposed to be a warning that organized crime would benefit if the municipality tried to ban pot shops, but the aggressive tone put off councillors, who promptly voted to explicitly ban the sale of marijuana in Kelowna.

6. “It was terrible. It’s not my kind of music. I don’t even know what you’d call it. Crash, bang, I guess.”

—Downtown highrise resident Pat Webber objecting to noise from the Rock the Lake outdoor concert, which featured old school bands such as Toronto, Platinum Blonde, Helix, and Honeymoon Suite.

7. “Disrespectful.” —That was the word used by Kelowna Mayor Colin Basran to describe a request sent to all councillors by

asking them how they planned to try reduce a projected 3.6 per cent tax hike.

8. “It was kind of a hostile environment at the meeting.” —Lake Country Mayor James Baker, describing an angry group of about 40 townsfolk who packed a meeting to object to the municipality’s plan to sell three publicly-owned waterfront lots. Council has put the idea on hold.

9. “I used to hate and detest photo radar. But I have come to realize the error of my ways.” —West Kelowna Coun. Duane Ophus, saying the government should restore the devices as a way of curbing what he described as rampant speeding.

10. “If I had not raised that stupid conversation, she would have been here today.” —Grace Robotti testifying during her murder trial where she was later found guilty of second-degree murder in the death of Roxanne Louie. Crown counsel John Swanson responded with: “To be fair, Ms. Robotti, Roxanne Louie would be here today if you hadn’t hit her in the head with a crowbar approximately 26 times.”

VICTORIA — What happened on Christmas Day in Oak Bay should not happen anywhere at any time. But it does happen, over and over, creating pain that will last a lifetime for many, many people.

Two young girls dead, a man in hospital, a mother trying to cope with a loss that is almost beyond words, a community in shock at the senseless loss of life.

The deaths are being investigated as possible homicides — and every time children die at the hands of adults, we ask the same types of questions.

Why does this sort of thing happen? Why are children caught in the middle of disputes between adults? The mother saw plenty of warning signs, and some people tried to help her — but did others ignore, or trivialize, or discount her concerns?

But above all, one question remains: Why?

There are experts in this sort of thing. They will tell us that parents will kill their children as a way of inflicting the most pain on the other parent. That thinking is incomprehensible to the vast majority of us, which might be why it is so hard to find a way to save more lives. We can’t fix what we can’t understand.

Bad things happen everywhere. In Phoenix, also on Christmas Day, two children and their mother were shot to death, and the mother’s estranged spouse, the father of her children, was taken into custody.

Last week, in Kelowna, two young girls and their mother were killed. Their father, her husband, has been charged with murder.

But the Christmas Day deaths in Oak Bay hurt more. They happened in our backyard.

The mother of the two children is well known in Greater Victoria through her work in public relations and in business. Her friends were well aware of the issues she had been facing with the father of her two daughters.

Her work put her in contact with many members of the Times Colonist staff, and tears were shed on Tuesday as we gathered information for our coverage today. At times like this, journalists walk a fine line: We can’t walk away when people close to us are directly involved in something bad, but we can’t take advantage of our friendships either.

And if these murders are having an impact in our newsroom, try to imagine how work is every day for the first responders, the police officers and ambulance and fire department crews who never know when they will next have to walk into a room filled with unspeakable horror.

Or the investigators, the ones who must try to do the impossible: Make sense of what happened, where no sense can be found. Or the doctors and nurses dealing with the injured man, doing whatever they can to make him whole.

Many people in many different walks of life deal with crimes such as this far too often. It should be no surprise that so many people facing emergency situations end up with post-traumatic stress. After the immediate crisis has passed, the nightmares remain.

These people see the evil that humans can do, more often than we should wish upon anyone, yet they need to keep their own thinking straight and clear. That is not easy.

In the end, we will still have more questions than answers, more what-ifs, more regrets about needless deaths. There is nothing new about parents harming children, and someday soon we will hear of another dead child.

We need to find ways to identify the people who might put their own children at risk. We — all of us — need to watch for warning signs, and not just assume that they are someone else’s concern. And we need to act when we see those signs, and press the authorities to take action as well.

We all share responsibility for the wellbeing of our community.

It’s hard to think that two young girls lost their lives while they were in the company of a man who should have been doing all he could to save them from harm.

It is so much worse that they died on Christmas Day, a traditional time of giving and celebration and hope and love.

Yet we all must find a way to pick up the pieces and carry on, as if the hearts broken on Christmas Day in Oak Bay can ever mend.

Dave Obee is managing editor of the Victoria Times Colonist. To contact the writer: dobee@timescolonist.com