In hindsight, staying at home not as much fun as travelling
Our seniors columnist has now decided a column she wrote several years ago is ‘hogwash’
Today’s buzzword is authentic. Authentic as in genuine, original, real, veritable, true. We are urged to eat authentic foods, plant based, and build with natural materials like wood and stone.
We are told to be authentic in our relationships with others, speaking and acting in a way that conveys honesty and sincerity.
I hear this from a friend who has been in therapy for years and when I ask if the sessions have a purpose, the response is a vague desire to be more authentic, more true to oneself.
I say simply do your best and live to a ripe old age.
Seniors have learned over time who they are and how to communicate with others from the heart and care less about what others are thinking and doing.
This concept came home to me recently when I sat down to peruse some early features I had written over 10 years ago. My writing has been directed to the senior demographic and I have focused on the everyday, the ordinary stuff of life.
I used the gloomy, cold winter days of the recent past to organize my scrapbooks and I began by filing my work in chronological order.
I was amused to find I had written so much and said so little about what I was actually thinking and feeling as the aging process continues to reduce my activities and limit my connection to the community around me.
A good example is the very first publication I wrote titled “Staying at home can be just as fun as travelling.”
I wrote of a growing awareness that friends were flying out to exotic places to learn more about other cultures and people.
Seniors were being urged to study environmental issues and attend workshops designed to teach building houses in Third World countries. I reported a growing trend that showed seniors not only want to see the world, but contribute to it in a positive manner.
About this time I found my Sunday Morning Wifesaver recipe tucked in the “T” file behind my famous Sweet Potato Trifle. Readers have requested the exact requirements so if I may digress:
16 slices white bread, crusts removed
16 slices Canadian back bacon or ham 16 slices sharp cheddar cheese 6 eggs 1/2 tsp. pepper 1/2-1 tsp. dry mustard 1/4 cup minced onion 1/4 cup finely chopped green pepper 1-2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce 3 cups milk dash Tabasco 1/2 cup butter Special K or crushed Corn Flakes
Set 8 pieces of bread into a 9x13inch buttered glass baking dish. Cover bread with slices of back bacon.
Lay slices of cheddar cheese on top of bacon and then cover with remaining slices of bread to make it like a sandwich.
In a bowl, beat eggs and pepper, add dry mustard, onion, green pepper, Worcestershire sauce, milk and Tabasco. Pour over the sandwiches, cover and let stand in fridge overnight. In morning, melt butter, pour over top.
Cover with Special K or crushed cornflakes. Bake, uncovered, 1 hour at 350 F. Let sit 10 minutes before serving. Serve with fresh fruit. Back to travel dreams: Since my name was not on the passenger list, I busied myself with going-away parties that had themes like the Silk Road and menus including yogurt, goat cheese and flatbread.
I was genuinely interested in the 9,000 digital images friends displayed when they returned home.
I became a voyeur and improved my geography skills. I found China and Indonesia on the map and was close to distinguishing between Iran and Iraq.
All this in an effort to convince myself the stay-sat-home senior was having as much fun as those who were actually heading for the airport.
I filled my hours with hair and nail appointments.
I watched Larry King Live with my black cat, Merlin. I fussed over Merlin’s health and saw the vet more often than I saw my doctor.
I shopped for things like bottled water and bug repellent. I stocked up on batteries and gift wrap. I wondered why auto makers did not include a healthy, young student in the hatchback to help me get stuff from the trunk of my car up the three flights to my condo.
My family is typically busy and they come and go too quickly. I want them to come and stay. I am learning to appreciate the time we do have together, and stop begging for more.
I wrote years ago that I was happy having my hair done, grocery shopping and caring for a pet. I wrote I was happy with the mundane activities of my life.
Today, I would declare that nonsense about “staying at home can be just as fun as travelling” as sheer hogwash.
I was motivated to keep my passport current and set aside funds for tour names and dates.
Let’s get real and admit the biggest challenge we experience with aging is the lack of new faces and places in our lives.
Why settle for the mundane when we can make the effort to meet new people and discover new cultures?
No more satisfaction for me in a La-Z-Boy chair reading new recipes for Bartlett pears or Granny Smith apples.
No one is interested, but if someone asks me, I know all the answers. It comes with experience. In my case, getting real means acknowledging the passing of youth and less time in the future but enjoying a present filled with plans to put my toes in the sand and refill the drink in my hand. Seniors know to roll (not fold) half as many clothes and take twice as much money.
Jeanette Dunagan has lived in Kelowna for more than 40 years. Email her at jd2399@telus.net.