Fantasy football playoffs set to kick off this week
Columnist weighs in with who to start and who to sit for your team’s post-season run
Though mothers possess a great deal of wisdom, let me bestow upon you a slice of infallible truth — giving birth is a far less meaningful experience than having a berth in fantasy football playoffs.
Those who have earned themselves a spot in their respective league’s playoff bracket now hold one of the more coveted positions in America.
All of your hesitant pre-season prognostications, all of your Sunday morning flex decisions, all of your starting lineup calls are — like the forgettable career of Kelvin “The Human Sphere” Benjamin — now obsolete. Playoffs are here to break your heart.
It’s time to kickstart (no, not like that, Kareem Hunt) your post-season campaign with a win. Will it be hard? Just ask Marvin Lewis. Speaking of which, if you have any Cincinnati Bengals on your team not named Joe Mixon, you are permitted to feel nauseous. Let me be your Gravol; let me be your guidance.
Fantasy playoffs are here. Stay for a while.
SMART STARTS
Put the following players in your lineup for Week 14:
Jaylen Samuels vs. Oakland Raiders
The backfield situation in Pittsburgh could not be much worse, but if you manage to snag Jaylen off waivers, your TE spot could not be better.
Samuels was drafted as a TE/RB by the Steelers, and Yahoo Fantasy still allows you to place him your TE position — while he scores your team RB points.
Imagine a Ty Montgomery-type situation on a 10 times more explosive offence.
Jameis Winston vs. New Orleans Saints
Some are able to battle through adversity. Winston is only able to battle during adversity.
When given the starting QB spot outright this year, he has succumbed to the powers of Fitzmagic: expect this to change against the Saints.
Just a reminder that the Saints have only lost two games all season — the first was against Tampa Bay. Here comes the broom.
Josh Doctson vs. New York Giants
Arguing that Josh Doctson is the best WR on the Washington Redskins is similar to arguing that Odell Beckham Jr. is the best QB on the New York Giants. Yes, OBJ has thrown more 40-plus yard TD passes than Eli Manning, but the statement is untenable. That being said, Doctson is a de facto No. 1 right now — and Washington is desperate for a win.
FIT TO SIT
Put the following players on your bench for Week 14:
Jordan Howard vs Los Angeles Rams
Several owners have already lowered J How into his fantasy grave this season with an attractive headstone that simply reads: disappointment.
The fiery emergence of Tarik Cohen has reduced Jordan’s role to an unremarkable lump of ashes.
Tevin Coleman vs. Green Bay Packers
Coleman’s season of bust continues to perplex fantasy experts.
A lethally athletic scatback promoted to No. 1 RB following the fall of Devontae Freeman?
Sounds overwhelmingly good. Consider me whelmed. Coleman is no longer a trustworthy option.
Tyler Lockett vs. Minnesota Vikings
Lockett has scored a touchdown in nine different Seahawks games. That is unbelievable. As in, I do not believe he can sustain that rate.
Goodluck to you all in fantasy playoffs! Except my opponents.
Toby Collis Handford is a fourth-year English major at UBCO, a flag football wide receiver, a fantasy football champion, and a weekly guest columnist for The Daily Courier. Email: toby.collishandford@gmail.com.