Trying to push all the right buttons

I must admit that I did really want to write about another crisis issue, e.g. systemic racism. However, a couple good friends persuaded me that they had more than enough of crisis issues this spring and summer.

They said try something lighter, please.

I have always admired e-bikes, but mostly from a distance as riders breeze by me on the hills, wearing their Spandex, while I grunted and wheezed on my geared, regular pedal bike.

I have often told my wife that if she bought me some nice Spandex gear that I am sure I could pedal long, steep hills much better.

She says that Spandex, for me, would just shock the neighbourhood. I have no

Spandex.

Recently, the same wife, acquired an older, used e-bike from her brother. She proceeded to have a great time reading the manual and then zipping around Belgo. Real men do not read manuals.

But I was interested.

I watched from a distance and even tried a short spin. The other half said, “You cannot just hit the fast override button all the time. That just drains down the battery. I realized I did not have a clue how to manage battery assist and charging of e-bikes.

Recently, Doreen says, “Let’s go for a bike ride up Garner hill to see some new construction. You can try my e-bike, with my instructions. It will be easier on the hills.” Yeah, right. Real men do not take instructions, especially from their wife.

After a brief intro of which buttons to push... only push the red button if you cannot pedal with assist. Use the top left button to assist... the display appears on the right.

So, we adjust and tighten the clamp and, again, put it up quite high.

Now I have a grand view of the world, once more, but am almost falling over the handle bars. My shoe toes barely touch the ground.

When we do stop, I can barely get my butt on the seat to start again, without falling over. The seat is way too far forward and too high but cannot go back further. But with quite a few wobbles, I am on. Maybe the bike IS too small for me?

Finally, I push all the right buttons to manage the hills up and down and do some good battery charging as I head, gloriously, down the home stretch.

I meet Doreen in our driveway for a big celebration. I put the brakes on and my foot down but not fast enough. My legs are wobbly. Suddenly, I fall off the seat and over sideways, with the bike on me and one foot caught under the tire. E-bikes are quite heavy.

I do not want any help from anyone, thank you.

Fortunately, I only have a stiff wrist to go along with a bruised ego.

Doreen has not repressed a lot of giggles. I ask if she still has the manual kicking around.

But tomorrow I am riding my regular pedal bike on the Rail Trail. At least that way I will be able to lighten up without facing another crisis.

And I hope you find some good ways to lighten your summer load of crises.