Thank you for 7 over great years!

2015 #1 Best Ice Cream | Gelato | Frozen Yogurt 2014 Georgia Straight Best of Vancouver, Winners 2014, 2013 Georgia Straight Golden Plates, Winners 2014, 2013, 2012 Westender, Winner Best of the City 2014 Gelato World Tour - North America, Double Winners

BEST WAY TO GET HOT, WET, AND TIRED

Just wait for public transit at any of Vancouver’s Translink bus shelters. The incompetent design of these misnamed “shelters”—with their transparent roofs slanted upwards to the sky—guarantees that on blast-furnace summer days you get, literally, zero shade and on wet days with wind gusting in the wrong direction you get rain blowing over the lower half of your body and soaking the inadequate seating—if the bench hasn’t already been removed to discourage our city’s homeless from stretching out to catch a nap above the dirty, cold pavement. Huge fail, Translink.

BEST REASON TO STAY IN A DEAD-END RELATIONSHIP

Picture this: you and your partner have been living together for a while but you’ve reached the point where the appeal of being independent is starting to surpass the appeal (or lack thereof) of sleeping next to a person who still hasn’t learned to share the sheets at night. The only problem? Vancouver’s crippling rental market means that there is no reasonably affordable equivalent to the $1,200 one-bedroom suite the two of you have been splitting for the past few years. With vacancy rates lower than ever and rents at an all-time high, choosing between your independence and cold feet every night might be an easier decision than you think—especially when the most affordable option is an $1,800-permonth, 350-square-foot, windowless microsuite in the West End.

BEST RETRO SIGN

While most locations of this fast-food chain have either updated their rundown exteriors in favour of more modern décor or joined forces with Orange

PET GROOMING/PET SPA Pawsh Dog Spa + Boutique

1.

80 Smithe Street

2. Spa Dog Organic Dog Spa

3471 Commercial Street 3. Pet Shop Boys

3080 Cambie Street

PLACE TO MAKE A BET

1. Hastings Racecourse

Hastings Park

2. River Rock Casino

8811 River Road, Richmond 3. Edgewater Casino

760 Pacific Boulevard South

LOCAL TOY STORE

The Granville Island Toy Company

1.

Various locations 2. Kaboodles Toy Store

Various locations

3. Dilly Dally Toys & Delights

1161 Commercial Drive

RELIABLE HOME INTERNET PROVIDER

1. Shaw 2. Telus 3. Novus

BEST WAY TO TELL ANTI-MUSLIM connection gives you access to an AND ANTI- IMMIGRANT endless buffet of smut. Evidently unACTIVISTS TO KICK ROCKS daunted by this reality, Big Rich’s As thousands of Vancouverites did in Adult Video continues to operate in a August, arrive in droves at the bigots’ nondescript Marine Drive minimall. planned site of protest to conduct your That the store soldiers on in a world own counter-rally. The massive show gone digital suggests some folks still of solidarity—and the stand against enjoy donning a trench coat and sunhate—will be enough to overwhelm glasses and doing the walk of shame. the ignorant, who will likely be unConsider, for example, Yelp user Shila sure what to do with themselves in the B., who—after wondering why no one presence of so many well-intentioned, else has reviewed Big Rich’s—writes: rational-thinking human beings. “[I] viewed some gems and even bought some discount stuff. It’s not the best or go to store, however, it’s close to home when I need it.” Clearly, for some, the thrill of discovering a full-length stream of Shaving Ryan’s Privates on pornhub.com isn’t as exhilarating as renting the real thing on VHS.

BEST NEVER-ENDING CONSTRUCTION PROJECT

Amazing as this might be, bike lanes are no longer the number one reason to bitch about what’s happened to the ever-evolving Burrard Street bridge. To forget that the 1930s structure has seemingly been under construction longer than Barcelona’s Sagrada Familia is to get stuck in gridlock that reminds you why you don’t live in Surrey. Things are, however, finally getting to the point where we can see what the finished product might one day look like. Highlights include artdeco-meets-art-nouveau street lamps that wouldn’t look out of place on Paris’s Pont Alexandre III, as well as expanded sidewalks seemingly inspired by the Champs-élysées. The bad news? Well, that’s easy—by the time the bridge renos are finished, everyone in Vancouver will be getting around by either flying cars or jet pack.

BEST HOLDOUT

Big Rich’s Adult Video

229 Southeast Marine Drive

The best thing about Al Gore inventing the Internet is that there’s no need to leave home when you need to get your rocks off. Back in the day, a good pud-pulling session required a Red Hot Video visit, where you’d casually inform the clerk you needed Leave It to Cleavage and Womb Raider for a sociology paper. Now an Internet

BEST SOUL-SUCKING BUS ROUTE

More often delayed than not, the No. 10 bus route is notoriously erratic and crowded at the best of times. Operating on the somewhat imprecise scheduling philosophy of “I’ll get there when I get there”, it runs from the sinking pit that is downtown to parts unknown and is the bane of my existence. But hey, at least it’s the best at being horrible. That’s something, right?

BEST HOTEL TO DISCOVER THE CITY’S ORIGINAL CULTURE

Vancouver is packed with high-profile luxury-hotel chains, from the Fairmont to the Shangri-la and the Sheraton. For those looking for something both boutique and outside the box, however, it’s more than worth spending a night at the Skwachays Lodge (31 West Pender Street). Owned and operated by the Vancouver Native Housing Society, the building contains 18 unique rooms, including the Forest Spirits Suite—which features floor-to-ceiling birch branches—and the Northern Lights Suite, decorated with a beaded black-bear sculpture. The hotel is designed to showcase First Nations creations and culture and boasts a 12-metre rooftop totem pole, an on-site fair-trade gallery, and 24 live/work Indigenous-artist studios below the hotel. Located steps away from Gastown, it’s close enough to hit all the best tourist hot spots yet far away enough to feel secluded from the bustle of the downtown core.

BEST WAY TO PISS OFF LOCALS WITHOUT MENTIONING BIKE LANES, REAL ESTATE, OR CHRISTY CLARK

Ride-hailing giant Uber is still months away from legally entering the B.C. market, but the company has already mastered the art of leaving locals fuming on social media thanks to a disastrously executed free-ice-cream deal this summer. Those thinking logically will tell you to get real: the promotion,

dedicated the entire last year of their lives to helping addicts survive B.C.’S overdose epidemic. While firefighters and paramedics are praised for the burden they’ve carried since fentanyl arrived, the Downtown Eastside’s teams of overdose-prevention-site staffers have received less attention. On the frontlines, earning low pay and working with little support from government, they’ve responded to hundreds of overdoses and, to date, every single intervention has saved a life. “They are true heroes,” said Coco Culbertson, one of the sites’ managers.

BEST WAY TO BRING COLOUR TO DATA

During the past three years, Vancouver data analyst Jens von Bergmann has created hundreds of colourful maps that detail all sorts of Metro Vancouver complexities. Curious about where toddlers live? In December 2015, von Bergmann published a map that showed a surprising number of them reside in downtown apartment buildings. Have you ever wondered about interurban migration patterns of young professionals? Last May, von Bergmann took a detailed look at what he describes as the region’s “generational pulse”. There are also loads of maps exploring Vancouver residents’ favourite topic to fight over: real estate. Whether you’re interested in heritage buildings, bike-share programs, or street trees, there’s a chance von Bergmann has a map for you. They’re posted online via his Twitter account (@ vb_jens) alongside colourful previews. He also routinely makes himself available to answer questions there and discuss the nuances of the numbers he brings to life. Most of the data is free and open to the public. At his websites, Censusmapper.ca and Mountainmath.ca, von Bergmann says he has simply built a fun and accessible way to share.

venues, Open Studios (200–252 East 1st Avenue) lives on. A privately owned warehouse venue and gallery space—and premier rave cave—the spot is heavy on house and techno music events but also opens its doors to a number of small- capacity concerts with dedicated audiences. Offering a very different atmosphere than the Granville strip on a Saturday night, the 200-person location often fills up fast, packing the two-level concrete building with an attentive crowd. As well as music, the venue hosts hundreds of art installations and video events every year. At a time when Main Street settings are rapidly going out of business, the nearby Open Studios still manages to sell out its evenings—and gallantly refuses to hand over the building to property developers.

BEST PLACE TO MURDER ZOMBIES

Turning around to discover a bloodied, stumbling corpse breathing down your neck is the stuff that nightmares are made of. With the rise of virtual reality, it’s a real possibility. VR is hyped as the next big thing for gaming, films, and everything from training surgeons to oil-rig workers, and the fully immersive technology is already available to purchase from your local Best Buy. While eager gamers are already donning the headsets in their living rooms, though, the average Joe would have to shell out a few thousand dollars to get the hardware and computer necessary for it to work—which is where UNIVRS comes in. As Metro Vancouver’s first VR lounge, UNIVRS (100– 8160 Park Road, Richmond) allows customers to book time on one of its consoles, and staff members guide users through understanding how to operate the controls. Games include archery, riding a loop-the-loop roller coaster, and, of course, bludgeoning zombies.

BEST SIGNS HOLLYWOOD NORTH REMAINS STRONG

Earlier this year, the California Film Commission boasted about how a revised film-tax program has managed to attract screen productions back to the state. As a result, Vancouver-made TV series Timeless, Mistresses, Legion, and Lucifer were lost to L.A. However, our city has continued to attract numerous productions, even with shows moving in the opposite direction: the sci-fi series Colony, which is set in L.A., relocated here from L.A. for its third season; Supergirl did the same in 2016; and The X-files, which moved to L.A. during its original run, is back in Raincouver for its revival season. Six and The Exorcist also came here from U.S. locations. Series that shot their pilot or first season in the city this past year include Ghost Wars, Hit the Road, Life Sentence, Singularity, Siren, The Crossing, The Good Doctor, The Trustee, The Green BEST SORRY EXCUSE FOR A PERFORMANCE AT

A LOCAL MUSIC EVENT

When former One Direction member Liam Payne was announced as a headliner at the first- ever iheart Radio Beach Ball at the PNE, tickets sold like hotcakes— a fact that was confirmed when, during the concert, the predominantly preteen crowd let out Earth- shattering screeches at any mention of his name. But then Payne arrived onstage, performing a grand total of six minutes and 50 seconds before bidding Vancouverites farewell. To be fair, the man has only two songs in his catalogue—neither of which is particularly appropriate for an all- ages event, by the way— but could he not have thrown in an *NSYNC cover or something? Let’s just hope the short-lived show isn’t indicative of his solo career.

BEST PLACE TO HOST ONE OF CANADA’S LARGEST DESTINATION MUSIC FESTIVALS

Clearly, it’s anywhere but B.C., which, with the abrupt cancellation of the Pemberton Music Festival this July and the axing of the Squamish Music Festival only a year earlier, seems to have become a place where music fetes go to die. Luckily, the province has no shortage of smaller- scale concerts— and a couple of newcomers— offering everything from electronic to country to indie that residents can enjoy during the summer season. However, we’re eager to see if either Squam or Pemby will miraculously rise from the dead in 2018. You know, like Jesus.

When Vancouver’s so-called Snowmageddon left citizens slipping and sliding down sidewalks, steps, and driveways in January, residents scrambled to get their hands on buckets of free road salt. Supply failed to meet demand at local firehalls, however, resulting in Boxing Day–like queues, a few unfriendly scuffles, and the hashtags #saltgate and #saltcrisis that, for a while, left the rest of Canada scoffing at our misery. Don’t even get us started on the public-transit delays at the time—if it’s not already obvious, Vancouver functions a lot more smoothly sans snow. Janet Mcdonald photo.

6649 Maple Road. Egmont 2. Clayoquot Wilderness Resort

Bedwell River Valley 3. Wilderness Resort and Retreat

Cawley Point

ADVENTURE-TOUR COMPANY

1. G Adventures

109–1965 West 4th Avenue 2. Canadian Outback Adventures & Events

332 East Esplanade,

North Vancouver

3. Canadian Wilderness Adventures

4280 Mountain Square, Whistler