The Georgia Straight

Never Alone serves up hoodies with mental health

- By Charlie Smith

Tall Paul, as Paul Marlow sometimes calls himself, seemed to have it all in his early 20s. At 6-7, he played basketball and baseball at Louisiana State University in Shreveport and was even drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays.

In a phone interview with the Straight, Marlow said he didn’t have trouble attracting female attention and even did some modelling for a while.

But in 2018, a decade after his university career ended, the Vancouver entreprene­ur was afflicted with serious depression. It came after a difficult breakup with a girlfriend and his father being diagnosed with both Parkinson’s disease and then cancer, which claimed his life the same year.

“It affected me greatly once he passed away,” Marlow revealed. “I decided to open up about what was going on on my social media and to my family and friends. And with people reaching out to me, saying, ‘Thank you for saying these things,’ and, ‘Thank you for being honest and open,’ I realized there was an area that wasn’t being hit.”

It gave birth to the Never Alone project, which he described as the “first mental health brand”. It’s a web platform that allows people to share their struggles and observatio­ns about mental health, and it’s combined with a clothing line offering hoodies and caps that celebrate the value of forging connection­s.

“The Never Alone vision is to help the regular person just understand that it is okay to feel anxiety; it’s okay to be depressed at times,” Marlow says.

The blog posts on Wearenever­alone.co include tips on everything from getting motivated in the gym to how to write entries in a diary. There’s also advice on what to say when someone dies.

Marlow said that when he was in the throes of depression, he visited other online sources, including government sites, that had many good quotes and stories. “But I didn’t find a lot of actionable content that could help my day-today life long-term,” he added.

He also feels that many mental-health sites are a “little safe”, whereas he wants to push the boundaries of public discourse.

As an example, he wrote one post revealing how he tried MDMA therapy. He took the psychedeli­c treatment in his 10th session—a six-hour experience that helped him understand why his childhood led him not to accept himself for who he is.

Marlow said that prior to this, he never realized how fearful he was of not living up to others’ standards. That would occur even when he was standing in line, going to a restaurant, or spending time with friends and family members.

“I was worried of being judged in a situation where no one would judge me,” he disclosed.

Marlow noted on his blog that he took MDMA in the presence of an “undergroun­d psychedeli­c therapist” with extensive background in this area.

And he said that prior to this experience, he never would have such an open conversati­on with anyone, let alone a reporter. “Until all this happened, I was quite a different person,” Marlow declared.

He’s also eager for his platform to be a home for those who feel marginaliz­ed by mainstream society.

In the “Never Alone Stories” section of the blog, Toronto-based mental-health advocate Asante Haughton wrote a piece called “Dear White People… Why Is Your Mental Health So White?”

“What you do with your answer might save me,” Haughton declares at the end of the post. “It might save us all.”

In another post, a gender-fluid artist named Em shared her experience as a sex worker. “I never felt in danger, I did have to navigate toxic masculinit­y and misogynist behaviours,” Em writes. “I also had, and facilitate­d, extremely caring and even healing sexual experience­s. I made enough money to buoy my finances, pay for laser eye surgery in cash, and fund a really beautiful trip with my partner for his birthday.”

Marlow said he understand­s how privileged he is as a tall white male. And to him, “it sucks” that people who look like him are the ones doing the most harm in the world.

“I don’t want to take over from people’s voices,” Marlow emphasized as the interview drew to a close. “I want to bring them alongside me as I grow. Then it’s a win-win. I can use my privilege as a good thing.”

Until all this happened, I was quite a different person. – Never Alone founder Paul Marlow

 ??  ?? Former university athlete Paul Marlow has created a brand and online platform that aim to create connection­s for those hoping to improve their mental health—while also selling some casual attire.
Former university athlete Paul Marlow has created a brand and online platform that aim to create connection­s for those hoping to improve their mental health—while also selling some casual attire.

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