Guinness cocktails a great way to avoid green beer
Let’s start with the one thing that’s more unforgivable than all others when it comes to celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. But before we do, here are a few things you should be able to get away with.
First up, a playlist where the Pogues, Dropkick Murphys, Therapy?, and Stiff Little Fingers have just as much right to be there as the Dubliners and Sweeney’s Men.
Let no one judge you for painting every part of your body green except your eyeballs, watching all eight Leprechaun movies, or having Lucky Charms for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That no one does those things in Ireland isn’t the point, because the reality is that, for most of us, St. Patrick’s Day has about as much to do with blessed Saint Patrick as Christmas Day does with celebrating the baby Jesus.
Rightly or wrongly, Xmas is mostly about Santa and elves on this side of the Atlantic. And, unless you’re talking about the devoutly religious, St. Patrick’s Day is a reason for decidedly non-Irish North Americans to raid the dollar store for green bowler hats, green nonprescription glasses, and green beards. And then head to a neighbourhood pub with a name like Paddy McShamrock’s to drink green beer. And there’s nothing more offensive than green beer on St. Patrick’s Day.
There is a better liquor-nerd way when it comes to celebrating the death of Ireland’s patron saint. And we’ll get to that in a second. In the meantime, make sure the Guinness is chilling in the fridge.
First, a bit of history. What we today know as St. Patrick’s Day can be traced back to the passing of Saint Patrick on March 17, 461. Historians believe that Patrick was born in Britain, and then kidnapped by pirates who brought him to Ireland. Flash forward a few years, and after returning to England a devout Christian, he packed his bags again and embarked on a quest to steer Ireland toward Christianity. In the process he became Ireland’s patron saint.
Green beer, meanwhile, is a tradition that started in America somewhere around 1904, and somehow became the favourite way to ruin a Harp every St. Patrick’s Day.
In the interest of staying positive, let’s turn our attention to one of the Emerald Isle’s greatest exports: Guinness. The classic stout’s strong coffee and chocolate notes work well with anything that you might traditionally associate with, well, coffee and chocolate.
For an After Eight–like Newly Minted, all you need is one ounce of crème de menthe dropped in 15 ounces of Guinness. Go the simulated-fruit route with a Purple Guinness, which is simply stout with an ounce of black currant liqueur.
Sometimes you need a heavy hitter when it’s time to kick off happy hour, doubly so on a pandemic St. Patrick’s Day. For a Guinness
Martini, take 1/2 ounce dark rum, 1/4 ounce each coffee and crème de cacao, and 3.5 ounces stout, pour in a Boston shaker over ice, stir, and then strain into a martini glass.
Channel your inner Alannah Myles with a Black Velvet, which is an even up mix of Guinness and champagne. If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that the pride of Irish beer goes with most things, which means you’re limited only by your imagination.
Because St. Patrick’s Day is just one step removed from a national holiday in America, maybe bridge Kentucky and Dublin with an Oscar Wilde. And should you find yourself mortally offended by those who choose to celebrate March 17 with green beer, green plastic hats, and green beards, remember what Wilde once wrote: “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
OSCAR WILDE
1.5 ounces bourbon
1 ounce Guinness
1 ounce simple syrup
Dash of botanical bitters
Stir all ingredients with ice in a Boston shaker, strain into a glass, and then garnish with an orange peel.