The case of the wife’s best friend’s asshole boyfriend
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STRAIGHT GUY HERE. MY WIFE AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE SAME PAGE ABOUT NECESSARY CONVERSATIONS AND WE BOTH BELIEVE THAT DISCLOSING INFORMATION BEYOND WHAT’S REQUIRED SHOULD BE UNDERTAKEN WITH CARE. MY WIFE IS FAIRLY GUARDED ABOUT HER PAST, AND I RESPECT THAT.
THE TRUTH IS, I DON’T KNOW A WHOLE LOT ABOUT HER SEXUAL HISTORY. BUT YOU KNOW WHO DOES? HER BEST FRIEND’S ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND. I KNOW IT’S HEALTHY AND NORMAL TO DISCLOSE INTIMATE DETAILS TO A CLOSE FRIEND—INCLUDING THINGS YOU MIGHT NEVER SAY TO A PARTNER—BUT MY WIFE’S BEST FRIEND SHARES WHATEVER MY WIFE CONFIDES IN HER WITH HER ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND. THIS MAN TAKES DELIGHT IN REVEALING PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT OTHERS.
BECAUSE OF THIS GUY, I KNOW THINGS ABOUT MY WIFE THAT SHE AND I AGREED WEREN’T IMPORTANT FOR ME TO KNOW: HER BODY COUNT, MEN SHE DATED I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT, AND SOME VERY SPECIFIC DETAILS OF HER SEXUAL HISTORY. AT FIRST, I WOULD FLINCH AND BEAR IT BUT THE TOTAL WEIGHT OF EVERYTHING I NOW KNOW IS HARD TO BEAR. IT TURNS OUT MY WIFE HAS LIVED A LOT OF THE FANTASIES I’VE SHARED WITH HER WITH
OTHER MEN, ALL THINGS SHE DECLINED TO PARTAKE IN WITH ME. AND THESE THINGS ARE KNOWN TO OUR ENTIRE CLOSE FRIEND GROUP THANKS TO HER BEST FRIEND’S ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND. DO I ASK MY WIFE NOT TO CONFIDE IN HER BEST FRIEND? THAT DOESN’T SOUND RIGHT. ASKING THE ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND TO SHUT UP HASN’T WORKED BECAUSE HE’S AN ASSHOLE. AM I SUPPOSED TO PRETEND NOT TO KNOW THE THINGS I NOW KNOW?
-Normally Open Troubled Dude Enervated And Frustrated
So, your wife knows she can’t confide in her best friend without her best friend repeating everything to her asshole boyfriend. Furthermore, your wife knows this asshole boyfriend delights in repeating whatever he learns about anyone to implicated third parties—like their husbands— and your wife knows her best friend’s asshole boyfriend has gone out of his way to embarrass and humiliate her husband more than once.
The fix here is obvious: your wife either convinces her dumbfuck best friend to stop repeating things to her asshole boyfriend or your wife stops confiding in her dumbfuck best friend. That doesn’t mean your wife can’t confide in anyone—you aren’t trying to isolate her—you’re merely asking her to stop investing her trust in someone who has demonstrated that she can’t be trusted. She can confide in her best friend about Freud, she can confide in best friend about Finn Bennett (swoon), she can confide in her best friend about politics and religion. But it’s obvious your wife can’t confide in her best friend about her sexual history without it getting back to you.
And if your wife refuses to do that—if she refuses to stop confiding in her dumbfuck best friend despite knowing it sets off a chain of events that ends with her dumbfuck best friend’s asshole boyfriend hurting her husband—then your wife is an asshole, too.
P.S. Some people can’t do crazy kinky sex things with someone they love. For some, feelings of intimacy short circuit the kinky wiring.
If there things you wanna experience that your wife can’t do with you (because
she cares about you too much) and your wife still wants to experience those things with someone (just not with someone she cares about), well, we’ve got another obvious fix on our hands: you both get to do some crazy kinky sex things with other people.
And if that happens—if you wind up getting to live out some of your fantasies as a result of the conversations you’re having with your wife right now—then you’ll have to send a thank-you card to the asshole boyfriend of your wife’s dumbfuck best friend.