Flirt­ing may just be friendly

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - ENTERTAINMENT - Q A Q A

- I don’t un­der­stand why this guy at work has gone from flirt­ing to noth­ing.

He seemed to be get­ting closer - call­ing me “my dear” and singing when he saw me. He’d come right over to talk and high-five me. He joked to oth­ers that he thought I didn't like him. Re­cently, he asked some­one if I had a boyfriend.

The fol­low­ing week, he was like a dif­fer­ent per­son and barely said any­thing, seem­ing to avoid me.

I also over­heard him telling some­one about hav­ing his girl­friend’s par­ents over on the week­end.

Days later he started chat­ting again as if noth­ing has hap­pened. But the flirty tone’s gone.

Maybe I mis­in­ter­preted this whole thing. I thought if some­one’s in­quir­ing about your dat­ing sta­tus, it means they’re in­ter­ested.

But we never ex­changed num­bers or talked about get­ting to­gether. His con­tract at work’s al­most up, so I may not even see him again.

I re­ally fell for him and he has no idea how I feel. What to Do?

- Do noth­ing. You didn’t mis­in­ter­pret, but you did over­re­act.

Some peo­ple are flirty. That’s their “friendly” mode. And yes, ask­ing whether you have a boyfriend, in­di­cated some in­ter­est… but no ac­tion at all. Had you made a sim­i­lar in­quiry about him, you’d have learned ear­lier that he’s al­ready in­volved.

In fu­ture, it’s bet­ter that you, too, check out some­one’s “sta­tus” be­fore you imag­ine that ca­sual flirt­ing holds se­ri­ous mean­ing. And, be­fore you al­low your­self to be­lieve that you’ve fallen for some­one, when noth­ing much has hap­pened be­tween you.

- We're both 55, di­vorced, dat­ing for 18 months, mostly on week­ends.

My son, 22, and his live-in girl­friend, 21, visit me once monthly. She’s very at­trac­tive and dresses se­duc­tively.

My boyfriend al­ways gets alone with her, en­gag­ing her in con­ver­sa­tion for up to an hour. He tunes out my son and me.

He’s bla­tantly at­tracted to this woman and can't con­trol his com­pul­sive be­hav­iour. He’s very de­fen­sive so I've said noth­ing, lest he ac­cuse me of jeal­ousy.

I’m fit, at­trac­tive, and fi­nan­cially se­cure, try­ing to make him feel se­cure and loved. He’s not in­tro­duced me to his daugh­ter, 14, though we’ve ex­pressed mu­tual love. Deeply Of­fended

- Meet his de­fenses head on. You’re NOT jeal­ous, you’re ap­palled at his show­ing off for this young woman.

He may not be the right part­ner for you.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.