Flirting may just be friendly
- I don’t understand why this guy at work has gone from flirting to nothing.
He seemed to be getting closer - calling me “my dear” and singing when he saw me. He’d come right over to talk and high-five me. He joked to others that he thought I didn't like him. Recently, he asked someone if I had a boyfriend.
The following week, he was like a different person and barely said anything, seeming to avoid me.
I also overheard him telling someone about having his girlfriend’s parents over on the weekend.
Days later he started chatting again as if nothing has happened. But the flirty tone’s gone.
Maybe I misinterpreted this whole thing. I thought if someone’s inquiring about your dating status, it means they’re interested.
But we never exchanged numbers or talked about getting together. His contract at work’s almost up, so I may not even see him again.
I really fell for him and he has no idea how I feel. What to Do?
- Do nothing. You didn’t misinterpret, but you did overreact.
Some people are flirty. That’s their “friendly” mode. And yes, asking whether you have a boyfriend, indicated some interest… but no action at all. Had you made a similar inquiry about him, you’d have learned earlier that he’s already involved.
In future, it’s better that you, too, check out someone’s “status” before you imagine that casual flirting holds serious meaning. And, before you allow yourself to believe that you’ve fallen for someone, when nothing much has happened between you.
- We're both 55, divorced, dating for 18 months, mostly on weekends.
My son, 22, and his live-in girlfriend, 21, visit me once monthly. She’s very attractive and dresses seductively.
My boyfriend always gets alone with her, engaging her in conversation for up to an hour. He tunes out my son and me.
He’s blatantly attracted to this woman and can't control his compulsive behaviour. He’s very defensive so I've said nothing, lest he accuse me of jealousy.
I’m fit, attractive, and financially secure, trying to make him feel secure and loved. He’s not introduced me to his daughter, 14, though we’ve expressed mutual love. Deeply Offended
- Meet his defenses head on. You’re NOT jealous, you’re appalled at his showing off for this young woman.
He may not be the right partner for you.