The Guardian (Charlottetown)

Family confrontat­ion won’t happen

- Q A

- I’ve been married for 37 years and don’t know if I want to be married anymore.

My sister-in-law hates me and I don’t know why.

Three years ago, when a family member passed away, I went to represent my family as my husband works night shifts.

We were all standing outside talking to people and relatives that we don’t see often. My sister-in-law invited everyone back to her house for coffee, but not me.

I felt left out and upset, and walked to my car alone. Many people called out, “aren’t you coming?”

My niece noticed and told her mom (my SIL). I later told my husband. But he never questioned his sister about it. He said that if I had a problem, maybe I should speak to her. She heard from family members that I was upset. We haven’t spoken since.

At family weddings, I’ve been cordial and say hello. No response. Again, my husband says nothing.

We just had a funeral and because my husband doesn’t see this sister that often, he went to sit with her, leaving me alone.

I was almost in tears. People asked me to sit with them. My husband doesn’t stick up for me. He always avoids this conversati­on.

My kids tell him he should speak to his sister about me. His response is that she’s fine with him.

I’m resenting my husband and may stop going to places where I have to see her. Awful Sister-in-Law

- Thirty-seven years - more than enough time to know the nature of your husband, his response to family, his reactions to stress. partner or associate will be demanding no matter what you do. Tonight: Get some much-needed personal time. LEO ( July 23-Aug. 22)

Your intuition encourages you to lean on someone you trust. Understand that not everyone has the same goals as you. Neverthele­ss, your caring will get a welcome response. You might not be able to make a move as quickly as you'd like. Tonight: Be spontaneou­s. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You might feel unusually tense, as others expect a lot from you. A partner cheers you on, and friends prove to be great supporters. Just the same, you could hit some awkward moments when having a discussion. Just don't play into a power play. Tonight: Be nice at all costs. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Look at the big picture rather than allow yourself to get triggered. You want to avoid someone who insists upon having his or her way at any cost. You know that you don't want to get into a power play with this person. Tonight: Note that people could be out of sorts. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

You might sense a heaviness around you that emerges when relating on a one-on-one basis with others. Communicat­ion can be difficult if you don't know what to say. Until you are sure of yourself, you would

He doesn’t want confrontat­ion… and I’m guessing he’s always been that way.

Now you want him to challenge his sister for her rudeness to you three years ago, and her continued ignoring of you socially. It’s not going to happen. So the real question is this: What are you going to do about it? Break up your own family of husband and adult kids? Sure, you can stop attending family events, but that’ll insult the relatives who support you.

You can be as rude as your nasty SIL, but that’ll put you on her level.

Instead, every time you walk in with your head held high and talk to decent people without overt rudeness to her, you put yourself on a higher plane. At the funeral, he could’ve gone to acknowledg­e her, then returned to sit with you. He doesn’t have that sensitivit­y. Or the courage to insult her. But that doesn’t make a marriage breakup a better solution for you. be wise to stay mum. Tonight: Avoid a disagreeme­nt. SAGITTARIU­S (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You will want to understand what is going on within you. You might react strongly to an associate, friend or loved one who seems to edge his or her way past your normal boundaries. Remember, you can say "no" nicely. Tonight: Smile and say "yes" to an invitation. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Your focus is on accomplish­ing what you need to get done. You could hit several snafus along the way. A loved one might be giving you a lot of flak at the last minute. Your intuition helps you read between the lines. You will be able to end a conflict. Tonight: Know when to call it. AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You might note that many people around you seem to be full of themselves; power plays seem to be a theme. You'll want to pull back. You could opt to take a walk on the wild side and enjoy yourself to the max. As a result, you will run into kindred spirits. Tonight: As you like it. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

A domestic issue might make you feel uncomforta­ble. You can't run away; the only way to handle the problem is to face it head-on. You have the energy to get past a problem with ease. Don't worry if someone doesn't get what you are saying right now. Tonight: Happy at home.

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