Partner needs career counselling
- My fiancé and married this summer.
However, I'm finding it hard to be a patient listener when he complains to me about his job, daily.
He’ll talk about people putting things away in the wrong place, recount conversations and email exchanges that were frustrating for him, and generally complain about everything at work.
When we moved in together, he was in a dead-end job that he despised. I helped him get a new one.
He stayed one year, but it was a toxic environment.
We got him a new job with a better environment and close to home.
He's been there one year, has complained throughout.
I've suggested he look for another job, or return to school, or start a business. I've said I’d support him in whatever he chooses (I’ll pay for it, too).
I think he’ll eventually settle on a
I are getting new "path" that involves education and a new field, but I worry that he’ll still dump his complaints on me.
I don't mind being a sounding board about a problem, but not about all the daily details.
How can I tell him that I’m not a dumping ground for his frustrations without hurting his feelings?
- Since new jobs bring no satisfaction, he’s either a born complainer (childhood atmosphere?) or must change his employment “path” completely.
However, it’s counter-productive for you to stay so involved in his choices.
Tonight: Be more playful. LEO ( July 23-Aug. 22)
Others sense that you have a lot on your mind. Nevertheless, you appear to be smiling and open. You will proceed with caution, as you sense that something is off. Out-ofsorts friends seem to appear from out of nowhere. Be willing to close your door. Tonight: Retreat quickly. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You might have felt as though you could make an offer so enticing that someone couldn't say "no." However, this probably won't be the case. How you proceed will reveal your true character. Speak your mind, but avoid using negativity. Tonight: Visit with a neighbor. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
A meeting is likely to occupy a good part of your day. You could feel pressured by a boss about something that is important to you. Be more of an observer, and you will know what to do. Happily go along for the ride. Tonight: Meet up with friends at a favorite spot. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Pressure builds for you to take charge, and you will. You could be overwhelmed by what you see. It is important to distance yourself in order to see the big picture. You will be reluctant to follow any other path but your chosen one. Tonight: A force to be dealt with. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Be careful, as you could be
It’s enabling him to depend on you for any job moves, and then feel entitled to complain to you in order to get your support for moving again. Take a completely different tack. Insist that he needs to find the right move.
Tell him that he needs to go to career counselling on his own (while still working at least part-time).
With their professional guidance, he needs to determine where his skills lie in a do-able direction.
Then he must work towards upgrades and pay his own way through student loans on top of his earnings.
If he complains along the way, make it clear that he’s got to take some of the less perfect aspects of any job, in order to get the benefits.
Then change the topic and/or get busy with something else.
Recognize that he may also need personal counselling to probe why his frustration level is so high over small imperfections. suppressing a lot of your feelings and overspending. Follow your intuition with a partner, but only if you are willing to be vulnerable. The results might be more pleasing than you realize. Tonight: Consider taking off early for the weekend. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Reach out to someone you care about, and make plans to get together. A friend is likely to add to the quality of your day, as long as he or she is willing to be flexible with your schedule. Postpone getting together until the end of the day. Tonight: Cruise into the weekend. AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
As you look around, you'll see that there is a lot you need to complete today. Clear out as much as possible. A new friend will notice how thorough you are. Before absorbing any more responsibilities, think carefully. Work more social time into your life. Tonight: All smiles. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
You might want to experience an easy day, as the tone of the weekend is likely to be seeping in. Others might take off early, which could result in more work for you. Funnel your high energy appropriately. Lighten up. Tonight: Head home early if you can.
Actor Will Ferrell (1967), actress Ginger Rogers (1911), actor James Maslow (1990)