Don’t mislead someone who cares
- My husband left me five years ago for another woman after a long marriage and a messy divorce.
I was devastated, and sought counselling. I’ve become very independent and moved on well with my life.
I dated two respectful men, each for a year. Both relationships were ended because both men didn’t want commitment. For two months, I’ve been dating a gentleman who’s very interested in developing a relationship, but the chemistry isn’t there for me. He has a lot of health issues, and isn’t financially stable.
I’ve told him that I’m interested in a friendship only, which he’s seemed to accept as we enjoy each other’s company (with hand-holding only).
I still hope that Mr. Right is out there. Is it okay for me to meet others for coffee and potential dates while I’m still dating my friend?
Or, should I break it off completely before he gets attached to me? I don’t want to hurt him. Confused Dater
- He wants a real relationship, so it’s misleading to carry on with regularly “dating” him.
And it’s hurtful to also scout the field for others while seeing this man.
Tell him that you value his friendship but are seeking a truly mutual relationship.
Take a break from seeing him and from holding hands. In a couple of months, an occasional get-together is fine if he still accepts that you’ll only be friends. the day ends. Tonight: The party begins now. LEO ( July 23-Aug. 22)
It would be smart to get over your fussiness quickly, as you will be dealing with a lot of people at once. It seems as if all you are seeing is what you want to see, and nothing more. Be careful, as it might be your distortions that upset the apple cart. Tonight: Hang out. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You might have a sense that a problem has gone too far. How you handle a personal matter could change this situation. Listen to your instincts, and you will land well. Your expenses might be out of whack, so try to use more self-discipline. Tonight: The world is your oyster. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Your energy soars. What could possibly stop you at this point? You seem to be much more together right now, and you'll make a strong impression no matter what you do. If you have an important situation pending, push it forward. Tonight: Don't stop now. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Say little, and concentrate on a project or your work. The less involved you are, the more successful the outcome will be. You also might need some personal time to rethink a decision or maybe just snooze. Don't allow anyone to slow you down. Tonight: Take a walk. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Open up a discussion in the
- My friend turns to erotic masseuses or other sex workers about twice a month.
He uses these services because he's tired of being friendly with women who look like they're interested, but their actions speak otherwise. He's tired of seeing women express love for men who seriously mistreat them.
He's tired of getting told he's attractive, but he still hasn't found someone. He also fears being rejected because of his psychiatric history, being unemployed and being poor. But with sex workers, he doesn't feel left out nor threatened and inferior to women, like he used to.
- You asked no question, only recounted a sad and hurtful history and positive rationalization for a solution that’s working. It’s nobody else’s business to judge. most positive way possible. Loosen up; a friendship could play a significant role in what happens. Remain sure of yourself, and don't lessen the importance of your needs. Don't back down on a matter that's important to you. Tonight: Find your friends. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You might feel pressured by someone in a position of authority. You know your limits, but does this person recognize them? You could feel burdened by a set of commitments and responsibilities. Let others know that you have had enough. Tonight: In the limelight. AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You have a way about you that implies that you can handle anything. Your plate is full, but you'll have an opportunity to take a short trip or switch gears. You are full of energy and open to possibilities. As a result, doors will open. Tonight: Know what you want. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
You might be in the mood for a close encounter. You would like to see life from a more logical point of view. A discussion with a key person in your life will help you bottom-line what is happening. Understanding will evolve as a result. Tonight: Have a one-on-one chat.
Actor Robin Williams (1951), author Ernest Hemingway (1899), actor Josh Hartnett (1978)