Mixed messages from mom confusing teen
DEAR ABBY: I’m 17. My mom and I often disagree on things.
Don’t get me wrong — I don’t care what she does in her free time, but lately I have learned she’s talking to people about bisexuality. I don’t know how to handle this or how to talk to her about it.
I feel betrayed. When I told her I was gay, she rejected my sexuality, and now she’s possibly wanting relationships with other females? Even now, when we watch the news and something about the LGBT community comes on, she still mutters about marriage being between one man and one woman.
I don’t want things to escalate into a big blowup over this because our relationship is just being repaired. Please help me. Am I wrong to be concerned, or do I have the right to be? —
TEEN IN DAYTON, OHIO
DEAR TEEN: I don’t think it would escalate into an argument if you were to tell your mother you are confused by the mixed messages you’re getting from her. It should be the opening of an interesting discussion, as long as you don’t let it deteriorate into a fight. It seems odd to me, too, that she would reject your sexual orientation if she’s leaning in both directions herself.
As to her feelings about marriage equality, you might be interested to know that not everyone thinks the idea of marriage (LGBT or otherwise) is appealing. If your mother is interested in open relationships, she may be part of that group.
DEAR ABBY: I went on a road trip with a friend who is normally kind and generous. She insisted on driving the entire way. She often exceeded the speed limit and kept less than 20 feet between us and the 18wheel truck ahead.
She read texts, answered her cellphone and made phone calls while she was driving. She’s very demonstrative when she talks, so while she drove, holding her cell with her left hand, she’d take her other hand off the wheel to gesture. More than once she nearly hit a guardrail.
I was so frightened I broke into sobs. She responded by laughing at me! Can you give me a tactful way to tell her how dangerous her driving really is? — TERRIFIED IN MEMPHIS
DEAR TERRIFIED: No, because it’s obvious that your friend is in deep denial not only about how dangerous her driving is, but also about how it affects her passengers and other drivers around her. But I can suggest that from now on, you provide the transportation if you’re going anyplace together. You were lucky this time. The next time it could cost you your life.
DEAR ABBY: One day, I found two bottles of wine under my husband’s bed. I told him I had found them and he didn’t have to hide wine from me. Yesterday, I found two bottles of beer in his underwear drawer.
This is unusual behaviour for a 65-year-old man. He is retired. I am still working. What should I do? — PERPLEXED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR PERPLEXED: It’s important that you find out what’s causing your husband to act this way. Notify your doctor there has been a sudden change in his behaviour and schedule physical and neurological exams for him. When seniors begin hiding items for no reason, it could indicate the onset of dementia.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus cheque or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)