Flirting is fun but be smart about it

Q - Should I feel guilty because I’m overly flirtatious?

My boyfriend and I dated for several years and moved in together six months ago, in our late-20s.

I’ve always been flirty, it’s fun. But I don’t cheat.

I like it best if the guy responds in kind but I don’t give out my phone number.

I make it clear that we’re just playing a game.

Flirty Girl

A - You don’t have to feel guilty but you do have to be smart.

You’re “playing” with two people ís feelings - your flirt partner and your boyfriend.

And you’re playing with a risk factor to yourself.

Flirting’s a “game” as old as humankind, but so is jealousy, anger, and revenge.

Be very careful with whom you tease then disappoint.

There’s also a matter of respect.

Your boyfriend may not appreciate your habit of turning on other guys.

And your flirt-target may feel disrespected (or worse) when your attentions wane.

Realistically, lots of people flirt at work, with contacts at coffee haunts, at the gym, etc.

But the best use of that heightened arousal when you’re already in a relationship, is to keep it casual when out, then take it home.

Use it to spice up the relationship which you already have.

Q - I’m a female, and early teenager going through a bad time.

My problem is a toxic relationship with the girl who was my best friend for four months. She’d helped me through so much.

When my last “bff” and I had a fight she was always there for me.

Then she started to change. This new girl came here and my friend never had time for me anymore. It was always their show after that.

It sounds like I’m jealous, but I can’t help myself.

My friend began vaping and almost started to drop school.

She doesn’t tell her mum where she’s going and has started wearing provocative clothes.

Now she just uses me as her rebound and doesn’t say nice things to me, even using the “fword” whenever she talks to me.

Another girl has joined those two and now they are like a trio.

The new one has told me that my former best friend likes them more, and I’m not even special to her.

Sometimes I believe her and it upsets me.

This has been happening long enough that I feel stuck.

One time I stood up to my friend and we had a massive fight.

If I stand up to her again, she always wins and has her way.

Also, she’s been really obsessed with a guy. She said that she doesn’t like him but she does everything he says. What should I do?

Left Behind

A - Move forward. She’s no friend - she can’t be trusted, turned against you, is rude to you, easily swayed by new people.

You’re smart enough to see her flaws.

Put on a brave face, and be friendly to others at your school.

Unlike her, don’t go after someone just because they’re new, or to form a bully posse.

That’s not being popular, it’s looking for trouble.

Your former friend has changed in very negative ways, between skipping school and being secretive with her mother.

You can only hope that she doesn’t end up in a bad situation.

You showed strength in trying to stand up to her but this isn’t the right time for that. She’s not in a receptive state; she just wants to impress these new friends by acting tough.

There are other girls who aren’t nasty who’ll appreciate your friendship.