Food can really bring people together
Meeting for brunch or attending a dinner party offers a respite from the cares of the day
Through their Nutrition Month 2018 campaign, the members of Dietitians of Canada have been drawing attention to the immense potential of food to fuel, to discover, to prevent chronic disease, to heal and to bring us together.
They tell us that food helps people to energize their bodies, get and stay healthy, discover the world and develop relationships. That is a lot of value from one healthy activity.
Eating food nourishes our bodies. Eating with others is a cultural and social experience as well. Sitting around a table together, sharing a meal, affords the opportunity to pause from the cares of the day and have a conversation. It may be a lighthearted chat about the weather and plans for the evening or a discussion that leads to a lifechanging decision.
People use food as a reason to get together. Old friends meet for brunch when they want to catch up. Extended families celebrate holidays around the table. Friends get together for dinner parties. Couples go out to dinner. We invite friends to come over for dinner. It’s a way to renew existing relationships and develop new ones.
Newcomers and long-time residents bridge a lot of cultural gaps when they share meals and learn about one another’s foods. It goes beyond just being hospitable. We gain insights about customs, economics, agriculture, table manners and religious practices, and in so doing we notice similarities with some of our own practices, while observing that our way is not the only way of doing things.
Families and housemates share food daily, punctuating daily routines with mealtimes. Unfortunately, families now share meals less often than families used to. Dietitians of Canada say that 30 per cent of Canadian respondents in a recent Ipsos poll reported that they found it challenging to find time to eat meals with friends and family. However, they say it’s worth making the effort to balance busy schedules so that we can sit down to meals together, because “everyone benefits when you eat in the company of others.”
The reasons for families to eat together are compelling.
Children who eat with their families have more nutritious diets (increased intake of vegetables and fruit, decreased intake of sugar-sweetened beverages), better academic performance, lower risk for being overweight and less risk of eating disorders.
Teens who share family meals get better grades, are less likely to smoke, use drugs or alcohol and less likely to participate in serious fights.
Adults who eat with friends and family tend to eat more vegetables and fruits, drink less pop, eat fewer meals at fast food restaurants and have lower body mass indexes.
Older adults who eat as part of a group have better diets, improved nutrient intake and lower rates of malnutrition.
I don’t claim that all of those things result directly from eating together, but they are associated with it. Perhaps people who value family meals also value other healthy behaviours. Whether there’s cause and effect, or simply association, these are desirable outcomes.
As a parent and grandparent, I know that even when the whole family sits around the table, challenges can arise. I’ve seen preschoolers who stubbornly refuse to eat, siblings who feel compelled to argue with one another, teens and adults, who are moody and uncommunicative, and people of all ages who would rather talk than listen.
I’ve also seen adults who are as involved with their smart phones as we accuse youth of being. These interactions can leave people feeling disappointed and worn out.
You can’t always control how others behave, but dietitians offer tips that can help to keep things running smoothly.
Give everyone at the table a chance to speak.
Do not scold or discipline picky eaters at the dinner table.
Ask questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. Instead of “did you have a good day?” invite conversation with “tell me something interesting that happened today.”
A final point: it is not an all or nothing proposition. DC says most studies done on the benefits of family meals start with sharing at least four meals together per week, and they remind that the shared meal does not have to be dinner. Take what’s available. If everyone can make it to breakfast, enjoy it together.