SUMMER CELEBRITY SCOOPS
From goats to engagements to Tiffany Haddish, warm weather brings hot news
From Zak Efron and goats to engagements and Tiffany Haddish, warm weather brings hot news
First and foremost, Zac Efron grew a beard.
That alone is not impressive. I, myself, hit second puberty when I turned 30 and with it came a small mustache.
Zac Efron beardless, shirtless, whatever-less is already handsome, but when you attach a beard to his face, it’s almost unfair. Now add in him holding a baby goat. Bye, 2018 is over, it can’t possibly get better than this.
Around mid-May Ariana Grande (pop star and perpetual ponytail wearer) and Pete Davidson (comedian) started dating. On June 2, Pete got two tattoos dedicated to Ariana. I get it, sometimes I can’t decide what I feel like eating so I order two entrees. The couple reportedly got engaged on June 12. I’ve been married for a total of zero years, so I can’t give any advice, but I think you might want to know someone for longer than 30 days before you marry them. But then again, people find roommates on Kijiji.
Everyone (including me) is
obsessed with Queer Eye on Netflix. Watch it, cry, feel good about yourself and humanity and whip up some of Antoni’s guacamole. If you haven’t watched it yet, it’s basically What Not to Wear meets Extreme Makeover Home Edition meets Oprah.
Chris Pratt was reportedly on a date with Katherine Schwarzenegger. I’m sad because I loved Anna Farris and Chris Pratt together, but doesn’t it make perfect sense for an Avenger and the guy who fights dinosaurs in Jurassic World to go out with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter? I mean, you couldn’t write this stuff.
But I just did.
Every news outlet is still posting one thousand pictures of Meghan Markle and commenting on her various pastel and nude outfits, the way she crosses her legs, and if the Queen likes her or not. I know I’m supposed to be interested in this and I do love Meghan Markle, but I’m just too busy watching The Bachelorette and Big Brother and all of the Netflix true crime documentaries to care anymore.
Beyoncé and Jay Z are on tour together and they released a new album. I’m not talking “Crazy in Love” by Beyoncé ft. Jay Z, I’m talking “Everything Is Love” by The Carters. An entire album by The Carters. Would it give me VIP BeyHive access if I convinced my fiancé to change both of our last names to Carter after the wedding?
Tiffany Haddish is the coolest celebrity of all time. If you haven’t spent hours watching every latenight interview she’s done, you are wasting your time. Stop working, stop eating, stop caring for your children – this is important. Tiffany is hilarious and has been becoming popular among celebrities and then telling all of her celebrity friend stories on talk shows and I am HERE. FOR. IT. Most notably she bit Beyoncé (in a loving way) and she publicly announced her desire to have Leonardo Dicaprio’s kids. Same.
Consider this your cue to stop reading and immediately go binge Queer Eye on Netflix and all of Tiffany Haddish’s interviews on YouTube. Who needs sunsets and socializing when you have television and air conditioning?