Matching celebrity weddings
Surprising similarities – and differences – between couples and their matrimonial options in 2018
There is a 100 per cent chance I am getting married tomorrow.
There is also a chance Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are getting married tomorrow. Pete’s dad was a firefighter who was killed in 9/11, his badge number was 8418. During their turbo speed relationship, this badge number has held great significance. Pete gifted Ariana a necklace with the number on it, and they both had it tattooed on themselves. 8418 could also be Aug. 4, 2018, AKA my (and potentially Ariana and Pete’s) wedding date. MIND. BLOWN.
Here is how my relationship compares to Ariana and Pete’s:
Ariana and Pete have been dating for about two and a half months. Jonathan and I have been dating for 5 years and 2 months.
Ariana and Pete met on “Saturday Night Live”. Jonathan and I met at East Side Mario’s.
Davidson deleted all of his Instagram photos after getting into an argument with some of Ariana’s fans in the comments. Jonathan Praest only shares photos of gardening and guitars and has 294 followers, none of which even comment on his photos, let alone argue.
Ariana’s engagement ring is three carats and cost $93,000. My engagement ring is made of three baby carrots dipped in ranch.
Ariana Grande’s ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, made a statement regarding her engagement, “It’s all positive energy. I am happy for her in moving forward with her life, just as I’m sure she is with me.” My ex-boyfriends have me blocked.
Ariana and Pete have been showing non-stop affection since their relationship has been announced. They’ve been gushing about one another in interviews, caught canoodling by paparazzi and are living the PDA life. I just yelled, “CAN YOU GET ME TOILET PAPER?” to Jonathan, so I think people would say the same for us.
The guest list for Ariana and Pete’s wedding will likely include Selena Gomez, Nicki Minaj and Nick Cannon. I’ll give you a hint about our guest list – none of them has ever been to the Teen Choice Awards.
Ariana Grande wrote a song about Pete Davidson. I let Jonathan eat the last English muffin this morning.
Ariana Grande is known for
rocking a high ponytail. I also have a signature look; it is sweatpants and a messy bun, and my neighbours are very familiar with it.
Way back in May, when Ariana and Pete confirmed their relationship, they did so by sharing a photo in Harry Potter costumes. They were in clashing houses – Ariana a Slytherin and Pete a Gryffindor. I know the feeling, I am from P.E.I., and Jonathan is from away.
As you can see, we are basically
the same couple and it makes perfect sense for us to get married on the same day in what will surely be identical weddings. I just hope my Island wedding doesn’t overshadow her celebrity celebration.