Abigail Van Buren

For the past 2 1/2 years, my deceased father’s friend and accountant has been working on winding up his estate. The bulk of the estate has been disbursed, and it should be clearing sometime soon.

He has refused to take any compensation from the estate for executor’s fees. I have told him by email and in person that Dad would want him to be paid for his work, but he refuses to take any payment and insists he wants this to be the last thing he does for my father.

I feel a thank-you gift would be appropriate, but I’m stumped about what to get him. Although I saw him and his family several times in my childhood, I haven’t seen him in decades, so I have no idea what hobbies or restaurants he enjoys. I’m guessing his age to be in his late 80s to early 90s, and his wife is still alive. I’m pretty sure people in that age group don’t need any more “stuff” for their house, and I know they’re financially comfortable.

I have thought about flowers or a gift basket, but the small amount they cost would pale against what he would have been entitled to had he taken his executor’s fee. Do you have any suggestions on how I can express my thanks for everything he’s done? — THANK YOU, IN CANADA

DEAR THANK YOU: Because he is refusing monetary compensation, I suggest you write him a letter. In it, express how much you appreciate the hard work he

I had a miscarriage two years ago. My ex wasn’t emotionally supportive during our grieving process (I understand everyone deals with loss differently). However, suffice it to say, our journeys no longer aligned.

I started dating again a few months ago and now realize I have built up an emotional wall. Also, I’m never sure when – or if – I should bring up my miscarriage. I’m 28 and have a master’s degree, and I would like to try again with the right man, the right way (after marriage). How do I start? — DOOVER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DO-OVER: I presume, having lost a baby you wanted and having to face the reality that your ex wasn’t the supportive person you thought he was, that you are having trust issues. The time to resolve them is before you start looking for another life partner. Some sessions with a psychologist would help.

Once you feel it’s safe to open your heart to someone again, wait until you know where the relationship is going before discussing this chapter of your life. The right man will understand, love you and give you the emotional support you need.

As part of the Acadian Harvest Festival at the Farmers’ Bank of Rustico and Doucet House Museums, an evening of food with chef Robert Pendergast and/or a lecture presented by Reg Porter is planned for Thursday, Sept. 6.

From 5:30 p.m. to 7:15 p.m., Pendergast will prepare traditional Acadian food at the outdoor clay bake oven. He will also entertain with stories and music while he bakes. Pre-registration is requested. This event will be happening rain or shine.

The presentation given by Porter will begin at 7:30 p.m. Porter is a retired heritage consultant who spent a significant portion of his life teaching the history of art at the university level. He has also devoted a great deal of time to studying and lecturing about Island architecture. During the past few years, he has turned to writing about architecture, producing several manuscripts.

Porter’s presentation is entitled “The History of Art through the Horse”.

The horse first appeared in art in the prehistoric caves of France about 20,000 years ago. Its domestication was a constant feature of ancient art in Egypt, Mesopotamia, Greece and Rome. Porter will follow this art through the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the Baroque era, the Age of Enlightenment and the Napoleonic Wars.

He will conclude the lecture with an examination of the way the horse was portrayed in the 19th century bourgeois society and impressionism.

The museums are located at 2188 Church Rd., Route 243 off Route 6, in Rustico. The Farmers’ Bank of Rustico Museum is wheelchair-accessible and airconditioned.

More information about the events and prices (cash only) can be found at 902-963-3168, farmers@pei.aibn.com or www. farmersbank.ca.